Location: Unknown
by BonesBird
Summary: Captain Hernandez is kidnapped while on shore leave with her crew. The crews of Columbia and Enterprise need to find her before she is broken irreparably by her captors, and need to hope that they can save her when they do. Rating for descriptions of torture
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Location Unknown  
Summary: Captain Hernandez is kidnapped while on shore leave with her crew. The crews of Columbia and Enterprise need to find her before she is broken irreparably by her captors, and need to hope that they can save her when they do.**

**So, this is the first time I've attempted a fic like this, so I've no idea how it will actually come off. This was all sparked by a passing comment in a drabble. Diolch to the USS Tumblr and to Jekkah who have been reading this :D It should be about 20 chapters long.**

**Historians note: This story is set approx one month after the episodes "Demons/Terra Prime".**

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_**24th February, 2155 -Day One - Location unknown**_

It was the first time she'd had the hood taken off her in what felt like days but she was still quite clearly in the dark. She'd tried asking where she was, who they were, but so far nobody had answered, and the guards who had carried her through hadn't been the most talkative. She could see movement in the shadows around the side of the room and she knew someone was there, watching her. "Who are you?" She said, thinking maybe it was best she try again now she was in a new room, surprised by how dry and brittle her voice sounded.

"Who I am is unimportant, Captain Erika Amaralis Hernandez, Columbia NX-02. The second of Earth's deep space vessels. Accomplished communications specialist, 39 years old." She was unsurprised by the knowledge he had, it was common enough, although she couldn't remember the last time someone had used her communion name, even though it was in her Starfleet file. If that was where he was getting his information from she wouldn't be at all worried.

At least, this time, someone was engaging her in conversation. It seemed like a smart idea, keep him involved and maybe she would get her answers. "Well, you seem to have me at a disadvantage, you know a lot about me yet I know nothing about you."

A second later a bright light flashed above her head, causing her momentary blindness as her eyes adjusted to the light. As she adjusted she looked around, noticing most of the room was still covered in inky blackness. The light not penetrating the room much further than a circle around the table which held her. "Erika, I can call you that, correct?" She shook her head, but she strongly doubted that mattered to the man in the shadows, he moved again yet still all she could make out was his size. "Well, Erika, you see, I am an expert at getting information from, shall we say 'uncooperative' subjects. The apparatus you are connected to can cause more pain than you can imagine, you would be best pressed to answer my questions first time." Suddenly he was behind her, almost whispering in her ear. "I don't want to have to harm you. But I need the information I believe you hold." The closeness of his voice sent shivers down her spine, an uncomfortable feeling when you were strapped to the table. She just stared toward the ceiling, calling on all of her Starfleet training to keep herself still, and keeping her emotions in check.

"I don't know what you want from me." She stated, hoping that whoever was behind her couldn't see her hands shaking or hear the slight tremor in her voice. Knowing that neither would help her in this moment.

"Not now you don't, Erika, in a moment though. Once I have this calibrated. I will be able to learn everything you know." His voice seemed further away again, and now she dared test the strength of the bonds that held her. They didn't even rattle as she fought against them. She heard a chuckle from a different direction to her questioner, and she realised the guards hadn't left the room, they'd just backed away. She looked around again as her questioner began speaking. "What are the defensive capabilities of Columbia?" She didn't even move. She wasn't going to betray her ship and crew because someone asked her. She heard his breathing speed up, whether through excitement or disappointment she didn't know. She heard a heavy thud as something hit the floor then she heard her questioners voice, far more sinister this time. "I asked you a question, Erika. What are Columbia's defensive capabilities?"

She tried to twist her head in the direction of the voice, hoping that she could catch a glimpse of who had taken her, when she couldn't she said the first thing that came to her mind."I'm not a tactical officer."

The first jolt of pain took her by surprise. It was sharp, but it was more of a light shock than anything truly painful, and it lasted only a second. It was enough, however, to cause her to take a sharp breath. That was enough to tell her questioner, and her guards, that she had felt it. The voice once again became softer, comforting in a way. "That was the lowest setting, Erika. You don't want me to turn it up to the next one, do you? So one more time. What are Columbia's defensive capabilities?"

"Chef makes chicken on Tuesday's" she said, trying to sound as serious as she could. The next jolt she managed to keep her breathing steady despite it actually hurting this time. She kept herself steady even once the current was turned off. She continued in the same vein, until the pain was too much and she couldn't help but cry out. She would ask anyone for help but she knew if wouldn't come. Not today. Columbia herself was probably still trying to figure out what was happening. She couldn't betray her crew, so she stayed quiet, refusing to give up information that would endanger the crew she took an oath to protect. The same question being repeated and repeated, her answers getting progressively stranger. Even through the pain she was determined not to betray her crew.

Suddenly the stabbing pains stopped, and she heard her questioner, he seemed far away, or she was disoriented. "She can answer nothing tonight. Take her back to her cell, leave her some food or water. I need her alive for tomorrow's session" She felt the cuffs being unlocked, but she had no strength to fight, she was dragged and thrown back to the floor of whatever room she'd left hours earlier. All she could do was scrabble to the corner, where she found a small container of water. After drinking she curled herself into a ball and tried to sleep, thinking of herself anywhere but where she was. Imagining herself somewhere safe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Location Unknown  
Summary: Captain Hernandez is kidnapped while on shore leave with her crew. The crews of Columbia and Enterprise need to find her before she is broken irreparably by her captors.**

**There is a surprising amount of interest in this one! Ah why!? I know that this is one that people are enjoying, because I have the USS Tumblr completely hooked (they are a few chapters ahead!) Hope you still enjoy it, please review!**

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_**February 24th, 2155- Day One - Columbia**_

There wasn't much worse than losing the captain, at least nothing Veronica Fletcher could think of. It was hard enough being the XO on this ship, especially considering _Columbia_ had only been launched 4 months earlier. She wasn't sure_ Columbia_ was ready to be without her captain, and Veronica wasn't certain she was ready to take over the mantle quite so soon. The fact it had been more than 3 hours since anyone had seen the captain was troubling her, but not as much as the fact that repeated scans of the planet were showing no Human lifesigns, and there had been no indication of any other lifesigns either.

There weren't many explanations for this, the Captain wasn't on the planet, and she wasn't on _Columbia._ The forensic scans of her tent had shown that she hadn't fought, but scans had also shown the unmistakable signature of a low yield particle weapon, meaning that Hernandez had likely been shot as she slept, making the getaway almost silent on their part. Unfortunately, it also made tracing the captain more difficult. She was about to pull out another set of scans as she was suddenly aware of the rest of the senior staff falling in around the situation table.

"Anything?" She snapped, before taking a deep breath, everyone watched her a moment while she steadied herself. She looked around the other senior officers, all as unsure about this as she was. "Sorry. Did you find anything?"

"Very little" Kiona was the one to step forward, the tactical officer shaking her head as she did, tapping the controls to bring up a list of exactly what they did have, which was one of the shortest lists Veronica had seen.

"Right, what do we know?" She prompted, and always the joker of the staff, engineer Karl Graylock motioned toward the screen.

"The captain was kidnapped while she slept."

Veronica just shot him a scathing look before turning back to Kiona, looking through the names of the team who had stayed on the planet with the Captain the night before. The first thing she noted was the lack of a security officer who had stayed, she made a mental note that if the Captain stayed anywhere, there needed to be a security officer with her. As she looked over the names once again nobody stood out as being the obvious choice to take a watch. "Who was keeping watch?"

"Nobody, the planet was uninhabited and we hadn't detected any life signs within 100 kilometres. The captain ordered them to take a break." Kiona answered, and suddenly it made sense. They had assumed they were safe because their scanners said so. She really did need to instigate some new landing party rules.

She took a breath and turned to the second officer, hoping that maybe his scanners had picked up something that had been overlooked, anything in the last three hours would be helpful. "Kalil, what did sensors detect?"

"Very little Commander. There no ships in orbit, and there was no evidence of a ship on the surface either."

"I want you to go over all the logs again." She thought, then suddenly a memory of what he'd said hit her, she remembered they'd been joking about ghosts at the time, and Kalil had been adamant it was just a sensor echo. "What about that sensor echo?"

"Sir?" Kalil looked back at her, a confused look on his face. She pulled up the time frame in the sensor logs, and pointed it out to him.

"Right after the Captain was reported missing, you mentioned a sensor echo. Check and double check that reading." She ordered, suddenly feeling like maybe, just maybe, she could see _Columbia_ through this crisis. She looked around the others at the table and thought of the best orders to give her officers. "Kiona, I want you and Sidra listening in on the comm channels on the shipping lanes. If anyone took the Captain for slavery or ransom we'll hear it there first. And get me Starfleet, we're going to need some help out here"

"What?" Sidra looked up, clearly surprised to hear her asking for help, and were the Captain there she was certain that Hernandez would have been able to handle someone on her crew going missing on her own. She wasn't the Captain though, and she wasn't experienced enough to do this on her own, she'd feel better having _Enterprise_ or even the Vulcans as back-up on this.

"I've only been a commander 9 months Sidra, I'm not ready to do this without back up, right now it could even be the damn Vulcans. The most important thing is getting the Captain back. I'll take it in her ready room. Do it." She nodded as the group walked off, each to their own assignment. She walked toward the ready room, glad that she had the access codes for the room off the bridge. It meant if anything broke she wouldn't be far, and she would be able to conduct this conversation in privacy. Still, she looked around the room at the Captain's knick-knacks, pictures of people who were clearly her family, a picture or two of her with Captain Archer from _Enterprise_. She was still looking around as the tone indicated her call had been connected, she slid into the chair behind the desk and faced the monitor head on.

Admiral Gardner blinked, clearly not expecting to see _Columbia_'s XO when the call had been connected, and she wondered if he looked as angry whenever he had to speak to Captain Hernandez. She'd never had any direct dealings with the Admiral before, and she felt this wasn't necessarily going to be a favourable first impression for him. "Commander Fletcher, I was in a meeting, this better be important."

"Captain Hernandez has been abducted sir." She felt it was best to come right out with her problem, if the Admiral was busy, there was no reason to dance around with pleasantries. He looked for a moment as if she'd slapped him across the face, then like a fish out of water as he continued opening and closing his mouth before he found his voice again.

"Pardon, commander?" He asked, his face still a combined look of shock and confusion.

"She was abducted sir, about three hours ago from a campsite on an uninhabited planet we were investigating." She continued, when he held a hand up she stopped and looked at him, waiting for what he would say next, and simultaneously praying for and dreading the orders he might give her.

"You're certain she was abducted Commander?" He asked instead, and she nodded. That was about the only thing in this situation she was certain of.

"Yes sir, all of her equipment was left in her tent which had been cut open from the outside, she is nowhere on the planet or on Columbia. We also detected traces of a low yield particle weapon in her tent. I have the crew investigating sir but I'd appreciate some assistance." She wondered if maybe she should push a little more, make it more obvious what she was asking. Hoping that maybe Gardner would answer her. "We're a day from home at warp 5."

He scowled a little, clearly working to keep himself from telling her not to ask too much for help. She knew that Starfleet probably wouldn't send _Enterprise_. But Veronica knew, she'd probably be seeing Jonathan Archer and his crew before too long. Seeming to sense her thoughts Gardner shook his head then replied. "Keep me updated. I want hourly reports Fletcher, that's an order. I need to present this information to the council, then we'll see about help."

"Thank you sir." She replied politely before he reached forward and closed the channel. She sighed as she sat back against the chair and wondered how many times in the few months since their launch the Captain had sat here and felt as utterly hopeless as Veronica did at that moment. She was willing to bet the answer was probably not often at all.


	3. Chapter 3

_**February 24th, 2155- Day One - Enterprise**_

The ship seemed remarkably quiet. He wasn't sure why, the engines were doing a leisurely warp 2 away from Earth, they hadn't been given a new mission profile, and at the moment they were just searching out interesting things that they hadn't experienced yet. His mind was wandering, really, to getting off duty in an hour or so. He wanted to try and get Trip back for the hands of poker he'd lost recently, and he'd never wished he had Erika's penchant for poker, he couldn't remember the last time someone had legitimately beaten her. He made a mental note to call her in the morning, they hadn't spoken in a couple of weeks, and he wanted to know how things were going on _Columbia_. Her engines were slightly more temperamental than _Enterprise_'s had been. He was thinking about maybe taking off early when Hoshi's voice broke him from his train of thought.

"Captain, you've a call coming from Command. It's Admiral Gardner sir, he says it's important." She looked at him, looking a little concerned, every time they got a call from the admiralty saying it was urgent, it was almost certainly bad news. He wasn't really sure the crew could take any more bad news, not after the last couple of years. Apparently, the universe wasn't up for allowing Starfleet's flagship a rest.

After a moment he looked to Hoshi and inclined his head toward the ready room off to the side of the bridge and tried to smile, looking like he wasn't particularly worried by the Admiral wanting to contact him. "Put it through to my ready room. T'Pol you have the bridge." He tried to act as if he wasn't worried what the call could be about, hoping that it was just orders. He swung into his chair as the light of the screen changed, and the anxious face of Admiral Gardner appeared on the screen.

"Jonathan." He started, before Jon had even had the time to properly get comfortable, he knew his hopes had been just that, hopes, by the look on the Admirals' face.

"Admiral?"

Gardner sighed before continuing, and his face seemed to fall even further, either _Enterprise_ was about to be given an assignment they would hate, or something had happened elsewhere in Starfleet. "I just ended a troubling call with _Columbia_."

"What's Erika doing now?" At the mention of their sister ship he couldn't help the small smile the crept up his cheeks, until he saw Gardner's gentle headshake, that one moment causing his expression to change quicker than almost anything else would have been able to do.

"She's missing, Jonathan. Commander Fletcher thinks she's been kidnapped. They don't know by who, or why yet, but they are working on it." Gardner tried to explain even as Jon propelled himself out of the chair, he felt the need to pace, to do something physical. He couldn't be serious, how did Erika get herself in a position where she was missing, especially as he knew they were in a similar position as _Enterprise_. Searching within 20 lightyears of Earth for interesting things. As he pulled himself together, the news still feeling strange, he wondered what he could do to help.

"Where are we meeting them." He stated, it was less of a question or request, it was more of a statement. There was no way he would be sat on the sidelines for this. Erika had saved him more times than he could count, if this was how he could pay her back, he would.

However, Gardner went back to shaking his head before speaking in his command voice. "We're not sending Enterprise, Jon. You're too close to this one. We've contact you because you're in Captain Hernandez's NoK list."

He was suddenly glad he hadn't got anything in his hands otherwise they would have likely been thrown across the room. It wasn't a secret that all the Starfleet captains were close, there wasn't actually all that many of them, and they stuck together. He was certain that any captain in Starfleet would do the same as he would. "Damn right I'm close to it, she's my friend, my fellow captain, my-"

"Your lover?" Gardner's comment threw him off. All he could do was stare at the screen. He and Erika had been in a relationship before, and in all honesty he wasn't really sure what they were now, but Gardner's choice of words were probably closest to the truth, and he honestly had no idea how to refute what he was saying.

"I..." He stammered, then just put his hand over his face, gently massaging his temples. When he lowered his hand he saw a genuinely sympathetic look on Gardner's face, he hadn't expected that, but was greatly appreciative for it.

"Jon, we all know about you and her, maybe not officially but we know the two of you are more than just colleagues and friends. You were back when we were all commanders and you are now." Gardner spoke more as the friend and colleague he'd been to them both when they were serving the NX project together. He took a few deep breaths, trying to steady himself, and get over the feeling he should go and find _Columbia_ anyway.

"Who are you sending?" He asked, hoping his voice didn't carry his disappointment and his plotting.

"The Vulcans have agreed to send the Amonak."

Why was he not surprised the Vulcans had been asked to help. Erika wasn't Vulcan, _Columbia_ wasn't a Vulcan ship, and he was certain he could make Gardner see that. If they were going to send a Vulcan ship, what harm could he really do? "Sam, I don't trust the Vulcans with this. Yes, Erika and I are close, but I won't put her above the safety of Enterprise, or Columbia. I'm the most experienced officer we've got, and if we find Erika our relationship may be exactly what is needed." He made his last point by slamming a palm against his desk, but he could see that Gardner wasn't convinced.

"Jon-"

"Come on Admiral, you know I'm talking sense. Let's keep this as a Starfleet matter. Take care of our own." He continued, just hoping that maybe it was enough to convince him that _Enterprise_ was needed wherever _Columbia_ was. After a second Gardner sighed then looked at a padd on his desk.

"They may or may not be near Altar. There may or may not be a crew in distress. Enterprise is sent to investigate."

"Thank you Admiral." He took the small victory where he could, yes he hadn't been ordered to help _Columbia_, but he hadn't been ordered not to help them, Gardner had even given him an idea of how long it would take them to get there. No longer than 10 hours, he guessed. Just long enough for him to get some sleep.

He walked back out to the bridge, all eyes were on him. He nodded then looked directly to communications, Hoshi met his eyes, and he was certain she knew already that something big was happening. "Are you still on speaking terms with Valerian over on _Columbia_?"

"Yes sir?" The question in her voice was obvious, he didn't purposefully avoid answering her question, he just wanted to put off telling them why meeting _Columbia_ was such a big deal.

"Contact her, find out where they are, then co-ordinate with Travis for how long it would take us to get there at Warp 5."

"What's happened Captain?" Malcolm asked, looking up, and Jon could tell he was already thinking that maybe he'd need to be on his toes for this one. If it was anything like the various rescue missions _Enterprise_ had had to perform, he probably would.

He took a breath and stepped behind his command chair, looking over everyone on the bridge, knowing that all of them would be shocked by the news. "Captain Hernandez has been abducted, we're going to help _Columbia_ find her. I'll be in my quarters, contact me when we are approaching _Columbia_." He didn't stay any longer, but stepped into the lift that would take him down to his quarters on D deck. The moment he was out of sight of anyone he dropped his shoulders, and for a minute he allowed his worry to settle on him. "Damn it Erika." He muttered under his voice, pausing the lift and leaning against the wall. "How do you get yourself in these situations." He asked the wall, knowing that he'd probably find out in a few hours when they approached _Columbia_. Maybe they'd have made some progress.


	4. Chapter 4

_**February 25th, 2155 - Day two - Columbia**_

Facts were still far from facts in this case. The only hard fact the crew of _Columbia_ had after almost 24 hours was that their captain had been abducted, and nobody was quite sure by whom or even how it had happened. Veronica herself had tried to get a few hours sleep, mostly on Doctors' orders, but also because she had been on duty for more than 30 hours, and if this continued going the way it was, she wouldn't have much time to sleep over the coming days. Unfortunately for her, talking to the members of the landing party hadn't given her any insights, all she could do is assume that whomever had taken the Captain had had their own reasons.

A sharp intake of breath from the young communications officer dragged her attention to that side of the Bridge, she was already on her feet before Sidra shouted back to her, a grimace on her face. "Commander!"

"What?" Veronica asked, hoping that the urgency in her voice told the Comm officer to hurry her report, it didn't surprise her that Sidra checked the UT before giving her report.

"I'm picking up a signal on one of the civilian channels. It's about a human woman being held out toward Rigel. From a Coridanite trader."

"What else?" She asked, knowing that there had to be far more to the message to have caused Sidra to shout her over, whether or not it was translated or relevant was another matter entirely. She hoped it was a break. Any kind of break right now would make giving her report to Captain Archer a much more pleasant experience. She had known both Archer and Hernandez when she'd been a junior pilot, only just a baby lieutenant who had been given a chance on the NX-programme. At that time they had been like the cool-kids at school. The jock and the cheerleader, almost. She had met them not long before they started dating, almost a decade earlier now, it must have been, and she had been the wine buddy for Erika a few years later when they had broken up. She also knew that things had sparked again between the two Captains' a year earlier, what that was she wasn't certain, but she knew. Sidra continued tapping her buttons, looking up to the Commander a second later, clearly having issues with the message.

"It's in Coridanite, I'm not fluent yet. That's all I picked up, I'll run the rest through the UT but it could take some time. Or I can call them?" The hope in her voice that that suggestion would be the one that is picked up was clear, so Veronica inclined her head, knowing that was probably best.

"Do it, get the information, don't give away who we are. How far are we from Rigel?" She looked to the conn, and Brynn Maelia looked to his instruments, it was clear that he wanted to be doing more to help, but there wasn't a lot for most of the crew to do.

"38 hours." Brynn replied, looking lightly over his shoulder before frowning. "More than a day and a half."

She grimaced, knowing that he was right, maybe this trader didn't have their captain, maybe it was just a coincidence, a big one, but a coincidence nonetheless. "They couldn't have gotten there yet, it's not even been 24 hours since she was taken." She said, more to herself than anyone else, it wasn't until Kalil spoke up a few seconds later that she realised that all might not be lost.

"If that is where they are heading though, they could already be talking about it. She could be headed for the slave market, she was the only woman in the landing party." He looked to her with a shrug, and she knew he was right, but her gut was telling her something very different. This wasn't a random abduction, the Captain had been targeted, for whatever reason. What reason, she couldn't know yet, but she made it her mission to find out.

"No, she was targeted, for whatever reason. Of that I'm certain."

"You think they'll keep hold of her?" Kiona asked, also stepping toward the command chair from her position behind tactical, the fact that they were both coming closer, allowing the three senior officers to talk in a lower voice, not alerting the crew any further to what they were thinking about the possible fate of their captain.

"I'm not sure. When is Enterprise due?"

"Within the hour." Kalil muttered, and the three exchanged a significant look. They knew that _Enterprise_'s arrival would make things easier on them, they would be able to share the workload, but she wasn't certain that she was ready for the responsibility to be taken yet, it was _Columbia_'s captain who was missing. She remembered that Captain Archer himself had gone missing more than once though. So _Enterprise_'s crew were more than qualified at this particular mission profile.

She broke herself out of her thought and slapped her thighs lightly, a habit she'd picked up years earlier and was desperately trying to break herself of. "I want to have some news for Captain Archer when they arrive. I'd like to have a plan of action, but that is not necessary."

"What is necessary?" Kiona asked, clearly confused by Veronica's statement, but she knew that somethings were erroneous information right now.

"Having at least some idea of where she is, and hopefully, who took her."

"I don't know if we'll be able to prove that." Kiona called as she walked back towards her console, looking back over the bridge as Veronica casually moved towards the science station before asking her next question, one that had been plaguing her for a while.

"Did you track that sensor ghost?"

"Yes, I managed to get a Warp signature from it. I think that I could probably track it, but not much longer it's dissipating rapidly." Kalil admitted, shaking his head gently, and she knew from that simple movement he wasn't expecting to get much information from it. She groaned, hoping that it hadn't taken them too long to find it. This was turning into a giant headache for her. She leant against the console and looked up at him, then tapped it before standing up properly, knowing the order she wanted to give.

"Get working on that with long range scanners while we wait for _Enterprise_, if nothing else it will back-up our theory that she is the woman Sidra heard about."

"Right." He gave her a sceptical look but focused on his console. She slowly circled the bridge, Sidra's conversation in an unintelligible language in the corner the main sound. Everyone else was focused on what they needed to be doing. Again, as she thought about what was happening a call from the comm station distracted her. This time she wasn't sure if Sidra was terrified or excited, it was sometimes hard to tell with her.

"Commander! They are saying they heard rumours of a ring of smugglers who took a human female '_within the last day_' after hearing about our issues with the Romulans. They think it's more likely information and if we want it we best have plenty to offer."

"That doesn't sound especially promising." Kiona deadpanned, but they were Veronica's exact thoughts, it didn't sound good for their captain, and it also meant that they had a time limit, a time limit they weren't even aware of. Not that she didn't have complete faith in Captain Hernandez to hold her own, there was a possibility.

"No it does not." She looked to Kiona, hoping that the tactical officer figured to keep her mouth shut with her next piece of speculation. It wasn't what the crew needed to hear. "Can you find out a contact for us Sidra?"

"Give me a moment. They say there is a merchant at Rigel who could put us in contact with the smugglers if we had the right price."

"Get the name, then once Enterprise gets here, get Captain Archer for me. I'll be in the Ready Room."

"Yes sir." Was echoed behind her, and however much she was sure she would, one day, be a good captain, she really didn't like hearing that right now. She didn't feel like she was ready to be the one in complete control. She preferred having that back up still, and she hoped that the Captain was found soon.


	5. Chapter 5

_**February 25th, 2155 -Day Two -Enterprise**_

The last few hours racing to _Columbia_'s co-ordinates hadn't exactly been the easiest for him, and he had found himself sitting in the centre seat staring at the screen at the front of the Bridge and imagining he could somehow psychically reach out to Erika, and get any information on where she was or if she was even alive. He'd never been on this side of this situation, more often than not he'd been the one missing, he resolved to take Malcolm's security concerns seriously so as he never put Erika in this position.

"Captain, you've a call from _Columbia_." Hoshi called, and he was shaken from his reverie, he looked over at her and for the first time in months he wasn't a little excited to hear those words, normally a call from _Columbia_ would mean Erika, and it would probably mean he'd end up laughing at something she did or said. That couldn't happen today though, and laughter looked like it was a long way away.

"I'll take it in the ready room, Hoshi." He called to her as he stepped down from his chair and took the first few steps towards his ready room. He wondered why he suddenly felt so down, so awkward. Especially seeing as he and Erika hadn't actually spoken all that much in the last few months. They spoken for Christmas, opening the gifts they'd traded in November, otherwise they'd been busy. He sat down behind his desk, trying to look more composed than he felt, and he noticed the same signs of grasping in the dark on the XO of _Columbia_ the minute the screen lit up. "Veronica."

"Hello sir, I'm sorry we have to meet again under these circumstances." Veronica grimaced, but Jon couldn't help but let out a grim smile at how unprepared she was to take on this kind of search mission.

"Is there any news yet Commander?"

Her shoulders slumped, and he knew whatever answers she had were either not at all good, or they only prompted more questions, the possibility of both was still high in his mind. "Yes, and it's not good."

"What?" He prompted, pulling a padd toward him so he could make quick notes on what she was saying.

"We received word from a Coridanite trader almost an hour ago, about a rumour he heard at Rigel. A group of smugglers got hold of a Human female, and were looking for a market for Starfleet secrets." Apparently, his face showed his displeasure at that, and Veronica held her hand up before shaking her head at him. "This is still only a rumour sir, we're ready to go to Rigel though. We also picked up a warp trail, it dissipated not long ago but our science office was able to track it as far as our sensors could reach, and they did indicate that the ship was leaving and heading toward Rigel."

"So ordered," He leant forward at the same moment she did to relay the orders through to the comm, the staff on the bridge would know to go. "Archer to Mayweather. Set a course for Rigel, co-ordinate with _Columbia_" He sat back again and looked up to the picture of Erika that he had on the shelf in his ready room. After a few seconds he knew that Veronica wasn't done. "What else?"

Veronica's face suddenly fell, and he saw the helplessness in her face as it did. He understood entirely how she felt. Though he purposefully tried not to think about what might be happening to Erika right now. He just watched Veronica wipe her eyes before she spoke again, and he realised that this was affecting her more than he'd realised. He made a mental note to sit with her for a while after the mission to talk things over. After a few more seconds of silence it seemed that she had pulled herself together enough to say what she'd been trying to get out. "Honestly captain, from what the trader said, it's not looking good for Captain Hernandez, we have to find her before one of two outcomes happens, they break her, or she holds firm and they kill her."

"Erika's not one to be broken, you know that. Share what data you have with _Enterprise_, we might as well try and help as best we can, especially if our likely breakthrough will be at Rigel." After seeing her nod he knew it was probably best to give her some time to herself to pull herself together fully before they had another briefing, and while he trusted _Columbia_'s crew, he wanted his officers to go over their data too. "_Enterprise_ out." He frowned and looked again at the pictures of Erika he had on his shelf. They were relatively new, he had added them to his ready room after the Xindi mission, but they'd only been on the shelf a matter of weeks. He was still staring at the photos when the chime sounded for the door. He was fairly sure who it would be, so he didn't even feel the need to move before shouting for entry.

"Is this a bad time?" Trip asked, sliding straight onto the sofa before Jon had even answered about it being a bad time, and he recognised the look on Trip's face, the chief engineer was about to ask his captain some questions Jon probably didn't actually want to answer. "Thinking about what's happened to Captain Hernandez?" He started, and Jon was at least happy to know he'd been right.

"How did you guess?" He asked, his voice dripping in sarcasm, and Trip just shot him a withering stare before he continued with whatever point he was trying to make.

"You two are pretty close?"

"Have been for-" he trailed off as he thought, exactly how long had he been in love with his fellow captain, as long as he'd known her? The answer was a lot longer than either of them had been captains. Long than they'd even been in the command ranks, in reality. "Longer than I've known you, actually, longer than I've known anyone who isn't an Admiral or related to me. She's been my friend for 15 years Trip."

"Wasn't there something going on between you, back during the NX programme?" Trip clearly pulled that information from the back of his mind.

"We lived together, we were thinking of getting married." He admitted, and suddenly he could see where Trip was leading, and he wasn't sure he was ready for this showdown.

"Didn't she also go climbing with you, last year after the Xindi mission?"

"So?"

"Are you sure your feelings for her are past tense?"

"Absolutely not. My feelings for her haven't changed in 15 years." He didn't even need to think, and he found himself wondering how he could answer Trip so quickly, yet when he'd asked himself the same question only hours earlier he'd debated on it, and the answer still hadn't been that clear.

The confusion on Trip's face however, said that the answer hadn't been as clear to his best friend as it had been to him. "You said you lived together, surely that meant something changed?"

He laughed, thinking back to the moment that Erika Hernandez had first breezed into his life, he'd almost had to physically restrain her, and he still teased her about her language that day when they were alone and she was winding him up. "No, I loved her from the minute I first heard her. She was shouting at one of the dockmasters, I don't remember what he'd misplaced but you never heard so many curses in so many different languages. Not in a stream at least. It just took us a few years to get our acts together, and last year things changed and a few months ago." He left the sentence hanging, hoping that Trip would get the meaning, but the smirk on his friends face said he was doing more than grasping at the meaning.

"I had the quarters next to Captain Hernandez, I have a good idea of what happened before the Klingon mission. More than I ever wanted to know about your activities to be honest." Trip continued smirking, and it took Jon a minute to understand exactly what his friend meant, then he felt the blush rising in his cheeks. The memory of what he and Erika had done before he'd been called away in the late hours were still something of a favourite of his, but he hadn't realised anyone else would have had any idea.

"Wait you heard that?" He asked after he'd gotten his voice back, and he suddenly knew now why Trip had been dropping a lot of his recent remarks.

"I would have had to be deaf not too, you're not exactly quiet." Trip imitated some kind of dying animal before he roared laughing, while Jonathan could still feel the flush raise even further up his cheeks.

"Sorry." He said somewhat sheepishly. Wondering if he would ever get the chance to tell Erika of the way Trip had teased him. After a few seconds pause Trip's face turned

"I was just glad to know that someone could get you to relax. Look, if you love her this has got to be killing you, not knowing where she is-" He trailed off, and Jon was reminded of when his sister was missing after the Xindi attack. Considering Elizabeth's fate, Trip had more cause than others to be worried when a friend was missing. "You are allowed to let your guard down once in a while, at least with me, and T'Pol, and probably Veronica too, I'm willing to bet she knows too. You don't always have to be in control." Trip patted Jon's leg and stood up, heading out of the door, and leaving Jonathan with even more to think about.


	6. Chapter 6

_**February 27th 2155 - Day Four - Columbia/Enterprise**_

The briefing room on _Enterprise_ was not designed for this many officers at once. Both senior staffs were in attendance, aside from Kalil, who was in attendance via a comm-link from _Columbia_. She had heard the complaints of both tacitcal officers, and it seemed like they were going in circles. She wasn't surprised to hear Trip look at her last suggestion again and shake his head. "That's not acceptable."

"It's the only information we have, it's worth risking myself if it finds the captain!" She defended, and she unravelled her arms, feeling the need to physically loosen up and hope that her mind would follow her lead. She needed to let go, take a step back from this situation. Ultimately the decision would be up to Captain Archer, she may have been in temporary command of _Columbia_, but he was the ranking officer, and she wouldn't refuse any order he gave her. Not knowing how he felt about Captain Hernandez.

The squabbles between the two crews broke out anew, the objectivity of _Enterprise_'s officers seemingly not having the calming affect she'd hoped it would have on the younger and less experienced officers from _Columbia_. The first clear words she heard came from Lieutenant Reed. "And its unverified!"

"Shut up!" She raised her voice, and after a minute the room came back to order. "May I remind you all, we're still Starfleet officers, we're better than this." She made eye contact with everyone in the room before her eyes slid to Archer, who had stood impassively watching proceedings. "Our information is only unverified because we've not spoken to the trader yet."

Kiona stepped forward, and this time nobody tried to stop and argue with her, apparently Veronica's reminder had had the desired effect, and all eyes were on the tall brunette as she pointed at the information Sidra had displayed. "Look this is a way of us getting information without revealing why we are looking for her." She said, and Veronica actually agreed with the plan devised by _Columbia_'s tactician. It made logical sense to her.

It only took a second for Malcolm to step forward and disagreed, holding a hand out in her direction. "It's too dangerous. We can't send the two most senior officers together on this one."

"Malcolm, she's my captain, I need to be doing something, more than standing here gathering reports. It's been four days and she's still missing." Veronica argued, and she saw the look Malcolm shot her, he was worried for her as a friend, not only as a fellow officer, and that touched her. They had known each other since their postings on _Intrepid_ together, and it made her proud to know he still considered her a friend.

Kiona though, seemed to come around to Malcolm's way of thinking. "I agree with Lieutenant Reed, Commander, I wouldn't be comfortable with both you and Captain Archer going down to Rigel. We already know that they aren't the friendliest people."

"_You're also acting captain on _Columbia_ Veronica, the last thing we need would be to lose you and Captain Hernandez within the space of a week_." Came Kalil's first input in the conversation for a while, and she found herself spinning round looking for at least one ally.

"Well be going down with plenty of back-up, I really don't-" She was cut off by Archer's moving forward, stopping her from thinking any further, and before someone else started he held his hand up for silence.

"Enough." The squabbling group of officers all fell silent at the captain's command, each of them turning to face him. "Veronica, I'm sorry, I agree with Malcolm and Lieutenant Thayer. _Columbia_ needs her XO now more than ever." He grasped her shoulder as he started around the table, and she felt her confidence growing as she saw the determination in his eyes. "You know I want to bring Erika home as much as you do." He broke their eye contact and looked around the room toward his officers, his eyes lingered on Trip a minute, and she knew that of the people in the room, she and Trip were probably the people who knew the most about the two captains' relationship. "Trip, you'll be staying and minding _Enterprise_ for me while T'Pol, I, Malcolm, Commander Rashad and Lieutenant Thayer take a couple of security teams and try to gather any information we can." He paused again at the opposite end of the table to where he had begun his pacing. "Go gather your equipment and teams. Dismissed."

She stopped and nodded as the officers left, and eventually it was just her and T'Pol who was gathering the tablets that the other officers had left strewn around the room. Veronica looked out of the viewport to the planet that the two ships were parked in orbit of. After almost two days at high warp they had gotten here, yet they hadn't had a plan of action. She remembered reading reports of Captain Archer's various missions, and she remembered he'd been held hostage more than once.

"Commander. How did you do it?" She asked suddenly, and she felt T'Pol's eyes on her back before she span around and asked a question that had been bugging her. "I've read the mission reports, and pretty much everything available at my security clearance level about your time out in space, and Captain Archer's not exactly a virgin when it comes to being kidnapped."

"Your point, commander?" T'Pol asked, gathering the last of the PADDs into her arms and fixing Veronica with a stare of her own.

"I've only been a commander for 6 months, because Erika and I knew each other on the _Republic_. I'm doing all this on my gut and it feels like I'm doing nothing right. When Captain Archer was held away from _Enterprise_- How did you cope?"

"I didn't have a choice." The confusion on T'Pol's face almost made her laugh, she allowed herself a wry smile as she tried to think of the correct words for what she wanted to say.

"Well, obviously. You know what I mean?"

"These aren't exactly the same circumstances, Commander. Captain Archer was never abducted with no indication of who or why, and he was also never held for such clearly nefarious reasons as Captain Hernandez."

"What would you do? If you were me?" She asked, taking a few steps closer to T'Pol, the Vulcan woman fixed her with a stare, and Veronica almost felt herself wilt under the strength of the gaze, she realised that T'Pol was searching herself for the honest answer, and Veronica wondered if she was about to be told she'd done everything wrong since the first minute.

"Exactly what you have done, Commander. You have done everything correct, and I'm sure once she is back aboard Columbia and able to read your reports I'm sure she will agree."

Veronica let out a breath she didn't even realise she'd been holding, then felt her hopes fall again, and the crushing sense of guilt that she'd been experiencing for the last 4 days. "That's assuming we get her back. This is all my fault."

"Considering how quickly _Columbia_ began the search for her, and Captain Archer's determination that he will see her again, I would say the odds are in our favour, for now." T'Pol cocked her head in a curious manner that Veronica had never seen a Vulcan do before, and she wondered if just maybe the almost 4-years T'Pol had spent aboard _Enterprise_ had really affected her that much. "Why do you say it's your fault?"

"I should have insisted she keep a security team down there with her, or that she come back to the ship rather than spend the night."

"If Captain Hernandez is anything like Captain Archer, I'd say that you unlikely had a chance of doing either." T'Pol's countenance became a little less stilted as she gathered the last padd and stood in the doorway, looking back to Veronica. "Dr Phlox is very fond of reminding people to stay optimistic. I advise you to take that advice to heart." T'Pol left the room before Veronica had even thought of a reply. Maybe she was right, maybe it was time to have faith that they could find the Captain. She didn't have much else to hope for right now.


	7. Chapter 7

**This is the chapter where it's perfectly acceptable to start wondering what the hell is wrong with my brain.**

* * *

_**February 27th, 2155 - Day Four - Location Unknown**_

Her door crashed open and she knew that her next day in hell was about to begin. It was best for her to focus on anything else, but as she tried to sit herself up she felt the results of her last few days injury. "Come on, human. Time to get up." Skra'al growled as he dragged her to her feet by what was left of the collar of her uniform.

"No thanks, I don't want to go to school today." She replied, still slightly groggy.

Skra'al's laugh made her want to stop moving again and crawl back into her corner, the corner where she had spent the last three nights sleeping from the sheer exhaustion of what they were putting her through during the days. Skra'al's laugh tapered off as he replied. "The Commander has more questions for you."

"I thought we covered this yesterday?"

"He thinks you're lying, and so do I. We'll break you into little pieces, and then, I'll get to decide what to do with you, and I have some plans." Skra'al's hands slid around her midriff, making his intentions quite clear. It took everything in her power to stop herself retching as he pushed her forward further with his leg. After a second she got the nerve to respond.

"I don't really care about your plans."

"I don't really care about keeping you alive, but I have my orders."

"So do I." She confirmed, knowing that all he could do was threaten her. Whatever orders he'd been given, she was to be kept alive for the daily interrogation sessions she was put through.

"You'll break, in time, and tell us all the secrets about your poxy starship, and of that Captain that the Commander is so keen to ask you about."

"Skra'al. Let her be. Have you reconsidered my offer, Erika?" The voice of the Commander echoed from the shadows. She had yet to see anything more than his silhouette, she couldn't even be certain what species he was. Only his voice gave away any inkling of his gender. She was unceremoniously thrown to the floor, even as Skra'al gave her one final lecherous look. She took a moment to breathe and look in the direction of the Commander. Speaking as clearly and with as much conviction as she could muster.

"I will not betray my people, no more than you will betray yours."

"All we want are a few simple specs. Nothing that would cost you anything to reveal but could be very valuable for us to sell." Once again his voice took on an almost loving timbre, so opposite the voice he had when she wouldn't answer his questions, when he was cold and ruthless.

"I took an oath to Starfleet. I will protect her as long as I can."

"What about Captain Archer." Her heart stopped for a second at the mention of Jonathan. No, no she wouldn't betray him either, and she had promised him something that meant even more to her than her oath to Starfleet.

"Took an oath to him too."

"You are aware of his whereabouts?"

"I'd assume he's on his ship." She felt Skra'al's backhand before she had even noticed him moving. She'd been expecting it, however, and spat the blood that came from the inside of her cheek to the floor, a floor that was already caked in her blood, and the blood of however many others had been interrogated in this chamber before.

"And where might his ship be?"

"I don't have a clue." She watched him as he paced around the corner of the room, the shadows seemed to be deeper today, and considering that she wasn't strapped to the bed today she assumed that one of his other various methods were going to be used to try and extract the information. She knew she was beginning to frustrate them, she had overheard the guards talking the night before about how rare it was for someone to survive three days of their methods and not spill everything they knew. She intended to make it more than that.

Her heart pounded as the first strike hit her back. What she was being hit with she didn't know, aside from the burning pain that followed she didn't know anything for a moment. Her mind blanked and she tried to focus on her breathing, to focus on not letting any sign out that she was in pain, or that she had felt anything at all. It required biting her lip, but she hoped she managed it. She wasn't entirely certain any longer if she was keeping her mouth shut out of loyalty or stubbornness, but either way it didn't really matter, so long as she kept her mouth shut and her mind clear.

"What are the offensive capabilities of Columbia?" Was shouted at her again. The voice was gruffer than the Commander who usually questioned her, nor was it the harshness that accompanied Skra'al's usual tones. As the stick hit her again she let out a grunt of pain, it hit one of her already broken and damaged ribs, causing the pain to be sharper and last longer than she had expected.

The questioning continued and she felt her grip on reality begin to slowly slide away, much as it did every afternoon after however long she spent in this torture chamber. Her hands were shaking as she began to fall to the floor. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, this time they would go too far and deal that blow that would finally end this phase of her existence.

"Keep holding on Erika." A voice said in her hindbrain, and she wasn't sure if the voice was something only she could hear. She couldn't quite make out who the voice was, but whoever it was told her to hold on, and the voice was comforting and familiar, it was a voice that told her she was in safe hands. "I'm coming to get you, and we'll get you out of there I promise. Just hold fast and remember your duty to Starfleet." He said again, and the face crystallised in front of her. Whatever part of her mind that wanted to remind her why she was holding on was there right in front of her. Telling her that she needed to hold on for Jonathan, because he was coming for her, and he would save her.

Hours later she heard the familiar growls of them knowing that any further and she wouldn't survive through the night, she heard the weapons being tossed to the ground and then felt the Commander's finger as he came up and stroked the side of her face. Her eyes were caked with blood, making it too hard for her to try and open them. "She's remarkable. How she hasn't yet succumbed to us is a mystery. She has a strong will."

"It's taking too long." One of the others in the room said, she was certain she recognised that voice, but where from she didn't know.

"No, it's not. It will just make it sweeter when we do break her. I want to be able to tell those who come to claim her body everything that we did to her, and exactly how we broke her." She heard the Commander as she was dragged past him, and she tried to get her feet to co-operate, but instead the just dangled limply below her. Helping nobody and doing nothing to help her get out of this place.

"You won't succeed" She whispered, somehow knowing that her brain wasn't playing tricks on her. It was her mind telling her that Jonathan was coming to find her. How she knew that she'd probably never know, but she was more certain of it than anything she'd thought she'd known before, and all she needed to do was to hold on for him to arrive.


	8. Chapter 8

_**February 28th, 2155 - Day Five - Rigel X**_

The two shuttlepods had landed beside one another on the landing platform at the outposted Jonathan had visited for the first time almost 4 years earlier. His first visit had been for a very similar reason. Then though, at least he'd had an idea of who he was looking for. Then he'd been looking for Klingons, or any information on the Suliban. Today, all he had was a name and a location. A trader called Graal, somewhere on the 14th level. He looked to his companions, and decided how they would be teamed up. He wanted someone from each ship on each team. "T'Pol, Kalil. Check over there. Malcolm, Lieutent Maelia that direction. Lieutenant Thayer with me."

"Aye sir." Was echoed, and they all separated off. They blended into the crowds after only minutes, and he was almost overtaken by the sheer numbers of people clamouring to sell their wares. It was definitely busier than the last time he'd been her. After a second he realised he was losing Thayer in the crowd, and he reached out and pulled her through, pushing her slightly ahead of him through the worst of the crowd before they could comfortably walk beside each other again.

"How long have you been serving on _Columbia_ lieutenant?" He asked conversationally, following the far thinner crowd toward the next building, where access to the other levels would be easier. He felt Thayer look up to him before answering, he realised he'd never directly spoken to _Columbia_'s tactical officer, despite pointing her out when Erika had given her a list of potential officers almost 2 years ago.

Thayer's face remained impassive as she looked forward again, and he wondered if it was standard for all tactical officers to be awkward with higher ranked officers. "Since she launched sir, I was assigned to the _Lovell_ before."

He smiled, absolutely certain that was at least partially included in how she had come to be on _Columbia_. "Erika served on the _Lovell_. Years ago. Right when she was first launched and before Erika joined the NX programme."

"Captain Bowker mentioned that sir, when she asked me to join _Columbia_." Thayer smiled politely and ducked down the next alley, he followed her, keeping his hand on his phase pistol, the memory of his first visit here not as forgotten as he wanted to pretend. He thought about _Columbia_, and about how would be a good time for him to find out if Veronica would need any extra assistance from him.

"How is Commander Fletcher coping?"

"She's doing well, sir." He stopped and looked at Thayer a little longer, and after a minute or so she shook her head and it was obvious she wasn't used to being asked to evaluate her senior officer. "She wasn't really ready to be left in command of _Columbia_ already, without the Captain being in comm range at least, but she's doing well. Firm leadership, and she knows what is best for the crew." She finished, and he was convinced she was being honest about exactly how Veronica was faring, he wasn't convinced he'd have actually done any better in her position, and he certainly wouldn't have done anything differently to how _Columbia_'s XO was handling the situation.

"Good, I don't think any executive expects to be left in command for an extended period only 4 months out of dock."

"Even less so when you're then trying to find who abducted your Captain. She and Captain Hernandez are close, sir. They've been friends a long time from what I know, I hope we find her." Thayer's voice sounded more personal toward the end, and he could tell that she wanted her captain found because they were friends too. He remembered the loyalty and friendship he had felt with _Enterprise_'s crew, and he wasn't surprised that it was the same on her sister ship. He clapped a hand on Thayer's shoulder as they reached the general area he had expected Graal's shop to be.

"Me too, Lieutenant. Graal?"

"We're closed." A gruff voice shouted from the shadows as they approached, Jonathan saw what looked like the back of a Tellarite head and decided to try and press, hoping that they could get something meaningful out of the merchant, since he was pretty much the last lead that Starfleet had to rescue Erika.

"I'm here for some information."

He drew his weapon as a crate clattered beside him and a familiar figure stepped into the dim light from the distant streetlamp. It didn't even take two glances for him to figure out who it was, and he held his hand up in Thayer's direction, making it clear she wasn't to fire. "You'll get nothing out of him, pinkskin." The figure finally spoke, and his suspicions were confirmed.

"Shran!" He exclaimed, and dropped his aim to the floor. Shran had proven time and again he was no enemy of humanity, and if he was here, he likely had information. Information that they needed.

Shran jumped off the boxes he had been stood on and landed in front of Jon with the grace of an old fashioned circus performer. "The very same. If you're looking for information on your missing Captain, he won't be able to help you, but I might just." He trailed off, and Jonathan was suddenly suspicious. The Andorians were part of the recently formed coalition, he couldn't see them having taken a Starfleet captain. He was about to say something, when Thayer took a step forward with an angry look on her face. He threw and arm out to stop her passing him, but that didn't stop her yelling in his direction.

"What's gone on Shran?"

"Oh, not very friendly, who is your new companion, Archer, you normally have that charming Vulcan." Shran smiled and closed the last of the gap between them, looking at Thayer with a mixture of intrigue and begrudging respect.

"This is Lieutenant Kiona Thayer, from _Columbia_, Captain Hernandez's ship. Where is she, Shran?" He asked, trying to impress in his voice that time was very much of the essence in the search for Erika, and he didn't have time for any of Shran's games.

"I knew you'd be involved in any search to find her."

"Have you got my Captain?" Thayer asked again, with far more accusation in her voice, but she, at least, got a reaction out of the Andorian general. He stepped back with a snarl, his face contorting into an angry expression, he turned back to them after a minute or so, and clearly had his emotions back under control.

"No, Andorians don't abduct officers, and we don't torture them for days for information I doubt Hernandez even has. But that won't stop them, and they aren't here."

"How did you know we'd come here?" Jon asked, something he was curious about. Shran had an odd habit of showing up whenever he was needed, and sometimes Jon wondered if his ship was bugged by the Andorian general.

"Because we laid the false trail to Graal. We were approached by a group of Orion pirates. Separate from the Syndicate but likely trying to earn their way in, everything is more lucrative when you're involved with the Syndicate." Shran stopped for a minute looking over the two humans, and Jon felt as if he was being judged. "We were told they had captured a Starfleet captain, a female Starfleet Captain, and that they were going to sell the information she gave them. We accepted, and contacted Starfleet with the information. We weren't taken seriously. This was seven days ago."

"Erika was only abducted five days ago." Thayer pointed out, but Jon knew that all Shran was telling them was that her abduction had been pre-meditated. He held an arm out again stopping Thayer from moving forwards any further. She looked to him a second then stepped back, clearly understanding that he trusted Shran's information.

" I know where they are holding her, but you need to be prepared for the worst."

"What do you mean?" He asked, but was almost certain he didn't actually want to know the answer to that question. There was only one outcome he would accept from this mission, and that was Erika's safe return.

"A human female, held by these pirates for information for more than 5 days. If she's still alive now she won't be for long, and if she does survive til you can rescue her, that's no guarantee she'll pull through. I have seen the victims of this kind of interrogation before, it killed three of my best officers."

"Erika's stronger than you think Shran, she'll make it. You know where she is, are you willing to help us, as a favour?" The Andorian General's face split into a smile as he motioned back the way they'd come, already proving to Jonathan that his friend was willing to help, and maybe, just maybe, somewhere along the way he would be able to explain why getting Erika back was so important to him.


	9. Chapter 9

_**March 1st, 2155 - Day Six - Enterprise**_

It wasn't necessarily unusual for him to be sat brooding in his ready room, especially not at the moment. All his thoughts were on somehow, mentally, telling Erika that he was searching for her, that he missed her. He knew that it probably wasn't getting anywhere, but he still felt that by thinking about her, somehow she'd know to hold on for him. He was still thinking, casually stroking Porthos as he did, when the door chime sounded, he wasn't entirely certain who would be trying to talk to him right now, but he still needed to be the captain, even if his current mood seemed to make it difficult. "Come"

He was surprised to she the blue-hued skin of Shran followed by the considerably paler Fletcher, having been almost certain that he wouldn't see either of the two until they reached the planet Shran was leading them too. Veronica stopped in front of his desk and handed him a PADD, he skimmed the contents but was far more interested in what had brought the two to his ready room together. After a few minutes Veronica sat herself down on the sofa and smiled a triumphant yet tentative smile. "We have a plan." She announced, and he already felt his skepticism rising, despite knowing that both Veronica and Shran would do everything they could to ensure Erika made it home alive.

"What's that?" He prompted when neither of the two seemed to be inclined to tell him their plan.

Shran spoke this time, his harsher voice at odds with Veronica's oddly girly voice. Shran pointed to the map on the PADD in front of him and then at his own weapons. "Diversion. I've been here before, I know the armaments, I also know the layout of the compound, and where they are most likely to be holding her."

"You think you can stage a diversion?" He asked, still not entirely sure he was fully following the conversation, was Shran telling him that they were going to stage a diversion or they were just going to use a convenient one.

"I can. Using Lieutenant's Reed and Thayer, and Commander Fletcher, I'm certain I can bring your Captain out." The confidence in Shran's voice didn't stop Jonathan from thinking the worst, much as he often did at this point in time. He couldn't help the words slipping out, despite the fact he knew that it was probably worry and fear that caused them to be thought.

"Will she be alive when you do?"

Shran pulled a face, and Jonathan already knew his opinion on the hope Jonathan was holding for seeing Erika alive again. "I'm not certain she's alive now."

"I am."

Veronica's defeated sigh surprised him, and he couldn't help but shoot a questioning look in her directed. The Commander seemed to take a deep breath then finally begin concentrating on what she wanted to say. "Captain, you know I want Captain Hernandez to be alive and fighting, but it's been 6 days. Six Days. It's extremely unlikely she's still alive."

He shook his head, refusing to let them shake his spirits, he knew, somewhere, Erika was there. Able to hear him whenever he wanted to tell her something."I know she's alive. I don't know how I know, I just do."

"Pinkskin-?" Shran started, but instead of allowing the General to continue he held his hand up and wondered if any other Captain would ever have to tell people about.

"Erika and I have had a long friendship, more than that, and I don't know how I know that she's alive. I just know. She's there, and she's fighting. She's waiting for me to find her, she's waiting for me to bring her out and pull her through all of this." He was resolute in that fact, and he was willing to put money on the fact that Erika would hold on for as long as she could, he saw the dawning realisation on Shran's face, suddenly he knew, Shran knew that Erika and he were in a relationship, however undefined it was. While Shran thought he knew, it was obvious from his next question that he still felt he had to ask.

"Is Captain Hernandez your mate, pinkskin?"

Jonathan thought long and hard about that one. He knew that in most cultures marriage was not what it was in human culture, and since he and Erika were far from any sort of marriage, the term 'mate' loosely applied. "We're involved, that's true. Nothing official though, I suppose. We haven't made any long standing commitments to one another, not in many years." He heard the sadness in his own voice and for that instant he wished, again, that he and Erika had chosen love over duty 5 years earlier. What else would be different in their lives had they chosen that way out. Instead, he thought about how he hoped that, one day, they would be together again, and about how she had shaped him in more ways than he could count. "But we have been together, and we no doubt will be again, one day, if I have my way at least we will. Because the one thing that this ordeal is showing me is that she and I will have a lot to talk about when she's back."

"She loves you, you know that?" Veronica said, finally looking forward again. Jonathan almost jumped at those words, but only seconds later he realised that Trip had been right, and Veronica had known about his relationship with Erika all along. He wasn't as surprised as he probably should have been, and instead just turned to Veronica as she spoke of what Erika had told her. "She told me that herself, after the problems we had with the Verdozians, when we thought things weren't going to get better, that we probably weren't going to get Columbia home, we spoke about you and about others back home. Shran I think Captain Archer is probably right. Captain Hernandez would hold on if she thought he was coming for her, no matter what that cost was to herself."

After a short silence he thought about their plan, and what it might mean for them all, but it didn't matter. He knew what he needed to do. "I want to be on the team."

"What?" Veronica asked, a shocked look on her face.

"On the team going down to the surface, I want to be on the team, I want to be the one to find her. I need to be."

"Captain, I-" The Commander continued to argue, and he could see now why Veronica was the perfect compliment to Erika, and in a way why he and T'Pol had developed the command relationship they had. He reached out for Veronica's shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze, hoping that the gesture calmed the jumpy Commander's nerves.

"My decision is final, Veronica. I need to be on one of the teams, I don't even care which team. I just need to be there."

"We could always double up. Captain Archer and you, and a second team of Thayer and Reed." Shran said, turning to Veronica who nodded, clearly knowing her attempts to convince Jonathan not to go were doomed to failure.

"That could work. Yeah."

"As long as I am there when we find her, things will be OK."

"We'll make sure you see her, Captain, whatever happens."

"So, what's this plan?" He asked, and settled back to hear what had been planned out, and why it needed three of the two ships' senior officers.


	10. Chapter 10

_**March 2nd, 2155 - Day Seven - Location: Unknown**_

Today the voices of her captors seemed further away. Maybe they'd finally damaged her hearing, or maybe she had just run out of shits to give about anything they said to her now. She mumbled in their general direction when they addressed her, otherwise she pretended not to hear, or care. Which was about where she was now. She already knew this was it. Today was probably her last day. She could feel her body giving up, and she had held on to what strength she had left to last this long.

The Commander's anger was obvious, and had been for days now. She still hadn't given him what he wanted, and now she wasn't really in the position to do so. Her mind was clear, but her body was giving up, and she didn't really have the willpower to go much longer. While the Commander was angry, he was also patient, unlike his second, whom she'd never gotten a name nor rank for, but internally had been calling Tightpants, was the one snapping about her. "She's not going to give anything up, and she's too weak for any of our usual methods."

One of the more junior members of their de-facto command structure spoke, she'd only heard him speak once or twice before, and almost always in direct reference to a question. So hearing him speak with no prompting made her wonder, for a second, if maybe her ears were playing tricks on her. "She's delirious, we could always try pretending to be one of her senior officers and just asking her?"

"No, she knows. She's still in there, somewhere. I've never had someone survive so long and not give us any information at all. All I need is to think of a way to get it out of her." This time it was the Commander, and his silky yet sinister voice seemed closer than the others, without looking up though she couldn't know exactly where he was, nor if he was actually looking at her as he spoke.

"Maybe its time we end her. Leave her in the colony and move on. More of her people were searching for her on Rigel two days ago. What if someone gave them our position?" Skra'al sounded panicked, not something she usual heard from the only man who's name she had learnt, he was clearly the brawn of the operation, but here he showed that maybe he did have a few brains in him. Humans had been asking after her on Rigel? At least it meant she'd been right, and Veronica was coming for her, almost undoubtedly with the help of Jonathan.

"No, we only offered the information to enemies of the humans. I'm sure that our position is safe."

"You say that. Didn't you say that Andorian was coming today, bringing some human slaves."

"He bought the slaves from Ossarien, this is legitimate business, and I want to see what he has. Now, Captain. You've been more trouble than you're worth, we know you can't take much more of this, yet for some reason you are holding on. Leave her tied there until after the Andorian's visit. We can show him the lay of the land, and maybe his slaves would like to see what happens to humans who get above their station." The Commander's voice faded with the others, and suddenly they were all distant, and she felt like she was listening to them through water or glass. The distortions making it harder and harder for her to make the words out.

"We should go then. Shran will be here any moment."

She heard the doors close, and could hear Skra'al's breathing. She was certain that, one way or another, she'd heard the name Shran. Not a name she expected to hear in connection to the slave trade, but she didn't know him well, and still the thought that maybe he was helping Veronica cheered her a little, as did holding on to the slim hope that maybe Jonathan was with them.

Whether or not that was true, she didn't know. She could hear the conversation echoing through the rooms, and tried to crawl away from the door ever so slightly, get more toward the shade. Because she knew that when they came back through the doors it was going to be her death. That was what was coming up.

Her mind was blank on it, by choice more than anything. She needed to be blank otherwise what was actually happening to her might make an impression, that was something she desperately wanted not to happen. She needed to stay blank or she might give something away in her last few minutes, with her last breaths. The last thing she wanted to have happen.

Thoughts tempted her, pulling at the edge of her mind, but she pushed them away again. Determined to stay a slate, nothing written that could potentially hurt those she had sworn she would protect, nor those she loved.

She had come to accept her fate, she wasn't likely to ever leave this dingy prison, not while she was breathing at least. Jonathan or Veronica would probably find her, eventually, take her home to be buried with honours, but she was certain any rescue attempt would come too late. She was already fading, she knew that.

The only thing she could hold on to was that she wouldn't break. She wouldn't betray Starfleet, and she wouldn't betray the trust Jonathan put in her. That was all she could focus on now, it was enough.

Then through the darkness she heard a commotion, she tried to lift her head or open her eyes, but the weight was too much, and instead she laid back to the floor and heard the sounds of weapons fire and the orders of the man she had prayed would rescue her. His voice was there, and that was all she needed to hear.


	11. Chapter 11

_**March 2nd, 2155 - Day Seven - Location: Unknown**_

He pushed his way through, and within seconds had neutralised the solitary guard in there. Veronica followed a second later pushing through the rather weedy man ahead of her, yet it was clear to them both that he was the one who called the shots. He looked around the room, checking for any other guards when his eyes finally slid to the floor. He realised that what he had mistaken at first to be a pile of rags in the centre of the floor was, in fact, Erika. "Just stay there, Veronica, keep your gun on him and call Malcolm." He slid to the floor and picked her up a little, unsurprised that she tried to fight him off, however weakly her resistance was he still saw it as a good sign. He put his hand to her cheek and got his first good look at the bruised and bloodied mess that had been left there. He whispered to her as he heard Veronica speaking to both Malcolm and Trip, he knew that other officers were bringing the shuttlepods from both _Enterprise_ and _Columbia_ to meet them on the surface, and he had already been told that the Orions who had taken Erika would face the full force of Earth's sovereign laws, regardless of what species they were. While Erika continue to fight he pulled her against him, and something about him must have made her realise she was safe, he whispered to her gently, trying to lift her chin so her eyes could meet his. "Hey, Erika. Hey, come on, look at me."

"She's not going to respond, captain, we should just get her out." Veronica called, her phase pistol clearly still aimed at the man in charge of what had happened to Erika.

"Let me get her, cover me." He picked her up, and she felt light as a feather, he was sure she couldn't have lost that much weight during her week in captivity, but all he could think was how inconsequential she felt in his arms. As he settled her and felt her head roll against his neck he felt the need to whisper in her ear. "I've got you, Rike. I'm taking you home. You'll be alright."

Those words were a lie though, he had no idea if she would be OK, the fact they had found her clearly minutes before the Orions gave up on getting information out of her should have told him the state she was in. All he could do though was hold her tighter, and then he felt her arms tighten around his neck. That one thing spurred him on, he wanted to get her home faster, get her to Enterprise where hopefully Phlox could save her. "Come on, Erika. You need to get through this because I love you, and I don't know what I'd do without you."

"We've got them all Captain." Reed said, and Jonathan couldn't help but smile at the glee in his tactical officers voice. He ducked down at the side of the room and softly heard Erika's muttering. He shifted her slightly, and her words became clearer, despite the fact she was clearly still in whatever fantasy land she had created within herself to cope with the situation. The only word he could make out was his own name, and he couldn't help but let out a slight smile at the fact he was wherever she had taken herself too.

"Captain, how is she?" Veronica asked, still standing over the ringleader, and now he knew Erika was alive at least he started toward the group of Orions, two of the MACOs dragging the one he had stunned to be placed with the others, and he stood over the ringleader, his anger beginning to get the better of him.

"She's alive." He confirmed, and saw Veronica's sigh of relief. He picked up the ringleader by the front of his shirt and held him there, wanting to know something that could be helpful to Phlox and Johanna when they got her back to the ships. "What did you do to her?" He snarled, and he noticed the grim smile that began to creep up the Orions' face, and in that instant he knew he wouldn't get anything useful from him. He dropped him to the floor again and stalked away a little, the moment he turned back to face the Orion, he began speaking, his words slow and deliberate.

"She was a hard one. Something I'm not used to seeing. I don't even know how she's still alive. I doubt even one of my men could have survived what I did to her." His laughter was almost enough to push Jonathan over the edge, but it was clear the other members of the landing party were feeling much the same, especially Trip who had come in almost silently behind Malcolm and was now knelt next to Erika. "She made my job a challenge, and very few people do that any longer."

Jonathan couldn't stand the taunting, he knelt down in front of the Orion, placing his phase pistol deliberately in front of his eyes. "If she dies, you bet your ass that Starfleet is going to take you out of business. But more than that, you'll have to answer to me, and Space is cold."

"I don't answer to your laws." The Orion responded, but his eyes showed their first hint of fear, still, that wasn't enough to calm him.

"You abducted a Starfleet officer, tortured her-"

Veronica pushed the Orion away and stepped in front of him, her hand on his weapon, even as he spotted Malcolm cover the Orion with a second weapon. After a second, when Veronica was sure the Captain wouldn't shoot her, she pushed him backwards, and he tried not to stumble. "Captain, focus on Erika, you can question these men on _Enterprise_." He started back across to the centre of the room. Knowing that this was it. There was little chance left for Erika now.

"She's unresponsive, barely conscious and too many injuries to count. Phlox might have his hands full." He shouted back toward the men then looked to Trip as he knelt beside Erika, Malcolm and Veronica began gathering the Orions in the room ready to transport back to Earth after they had successfully secured the compound. He felt Trip's hand on his arm as they made the move to stand up, he secured Erika again, glad that nobody tried to remove her from his grasp. Trip knew, at least, why it had to be him to carry her out, and Veronica knew as well. Maybe everyone else, but the rest were smart enough not to mention it. He secured her and started to follow Trip and the biggest of the three Orions through the halls toward the shuttlepods. The Orions were separated, two going to Columbia and one to Enterprise, while Jonathan settled Erika on the medical stretcher.

All he could do was hold her hand, and he ignored the people around him, just focusing on her. He had never seen someone still alive with this many injuries, visible and invisible, and he wondered if Phlox would actually be able to do anything for her. There was a chance that he wouldn't see her again, and that he wouldn't be able to tell her his epiphany about the two of them. All he could do was keep her hand wrapped in his. They continued through to sickbay, and he kept hold of her hand, waiting to hear the damage, and if she'd actually pull through.


	12. Chapter 12

_**March 2nd, 2155, - Day Seven - Enterprise.**_

He stood a little back from the bed, but he wanted to try and keep her in his sight, he was still amazed that they had brought her home alive. He would have never admitted it to anyone else, but he had been losing faith in her surviving til they got to her, but the fact that she had reminded him that she was stronger than he though. All he could do was stare at her, trying to will his health into her. Only a minute later he was pulled backwards by Phlox a little who then started examining the scans above Erika's bed. Johanna, the CMO from _Columbia_ was the one who took him to one side, pulling the curtain around the bed behind her. "Captain, we need space to work."

"I don't want to leave her, Doctor." He almost begged, not sure if he knew what to do while he waited. There was no mystery left for him to solve, no person for him to speak too to get information. Now he needed to be inactive. He needed to allow others to take over her care.

Johanna stopped him and looked on him with a combination of both sympathy and resignation, he was certain in her long career as a doctor she would have had to give this speech to a few too many worried spouses and loved ones. One more time probably wouldn't hurt her, and he already knew what she was going to say. "Jon, you should go and get some rest. I promise, I or Phlox will call you if anything changes with her condition."

Even though he had been right, he still deflated a little, knowing that he wanted to be there with her, so she wasn't alone. He also wanted to be on the scene if anything happen. "If anything changed at all. Just, call me."

"We will." Johanna put her hand on his arm, and he wondered if this was taught to all doctors, it served to remind him that he had a lot of other things he still needed to do. First of all though he needed to talk to Erika, even if she couldn't respond, or understand him. The words were for him, not for her.

"Can I just have a minute with her "

"Of course." Johanna stepped back and let him through, clearly Phlox understood too, as they both stepped away a little. He leant down next to the bed and took hold of her hand again, hoping that wasn't causing any extra pain for her, even though he was certain Phlox would have sedated her by now.

"Erika. Please. Keep fighting. I have things I need to tell you, and I want you to be here to tell me that everything is going to be OK." He took a breath, feeling tears well in his eyes, he tried to swallow them down, knowing that this wasn't the time, he needed to keep talking. "Because I'm not sure I can convince myself that you will make it through this. I love you and this week has scared me more than anything, I don't think I can survive losing you, so please fight. Phlox and Johanna will do what they can. But you need to help." He kept muttering, and it wasn't until he felt Johanna's hand on his back again that he realised how long he had stood there with her. "I'll see you soon, I promise. I'll be right here when you wake up." He kissed her cheek before standing up straight again. He just looked at her one last time, before walking to where Veronica was hovering by the doors, having been willing to let Jonathan be the one to see her first.

"What's the prognosis?" She asked the moment he was in audio range, he spotted Lieutenant Thayer and Trip both turn round at almost the same moment. While Trip's time on _Columbia_ had been relatively short, Jon knew he still had a loyalty to the ship and her crew, especially her Captain, so was unsurprised to find him with the two officer from the ship.

"They don't know yet. I'm going to get something to eat while we wait, you're welcome to join me." He included all three officers in his offer, but was unsurprised when they all shook their heads, Lieutenant Thayer and Trip both heading straight out of sickbay and heading in opposite directions, while Veronica shot another look over to the curtain area where the two doctors were working on their friend before she answered.

"I'm going to go back over to _Columbia_. Now more than ever they need someone to remind them that their duties won't end while we wait for news on the Captain, keep me informed."

"I will." He confirmed and followed her out, knowing that it was best to follow the advice he'd been given to relax.

The wait seemed to stretch into eternity but no matter what he did he couldn't bring himself to go lie down in his quarters, there was nothing he could do to help Erika now. He had brought her back to their ships, to the best medical attention Starfleet had to offer, and he didn't need to worry about what was being done to her now, because everything was in her best interests. He laid on his bunk with Porthos and tried to focus on anything that wasn't directly related to what was happening on the other end of the deck. "This isn't working. Is it?" He said in the direction of the dog who gave a yip and looked at him with a sceptical look, and suddenly Jon realised his own dog was judging him for his maudlin mood. When the comm sounded he almost fell out of his bed in his speed to answer the call from Sickbay. He hoped that he wasn't about to be given bad news, either way he was pulling a shirt on by the time he spoke. "Go ahead Phlox?"

"She's out of surgery."

"I'll be there in a moment." He ran the length of the deck, and skidded to a halt outside the doors, trying desperately to look composed and in control, he took a deep breath as he hit the contact for the door, relieved for a moment to see the curtains around the bed she'd been placed on were open, and the monitors above her bed showed quite clearly that she was still alive. Phlox's face however, caused him to pause in his happiness, he had seen that look on Phlox's face before, and to his knowledge it had never been followed by good news. "How is she?"

"Lucky if she'll make it through the night. She has extensive burns and bruises, every rib has been broken, not to mention her fingers, her toes, her left cheekbone, she has two skull fractures. Captain she's lucky to be alive now, and honestly, if she makes it through it won't be because of anything we did medically. It will be her own will to live."

Phlox's catalogue of the injuries Erika had sustained, and genuinely had no idea how she had made it. He had heard of people going through much less and not surviving. Something had kept Erika alive, and he wished he knew what it was, because he'd like to invest in it, or tell the person he loved them. Though seeing what Phlox's opinion on it might be a better course of action before he started worshipping a new god. "How could anyone survive all of that?"

"I have no idea, by rights she should be dead, but she isn't, and despite her injuries her heart-rate is strong and regular."

He smiled at Phlox and walked toward the bed, pulling a stool with him, settling himself beside her, a PADD in his hand with his evening's worth of work on it. He looked over at her and uttered another plea to her unconscious form. "Come on Rike, keep fighting." He begged her, hoping that there would be no surprises in the night, not that he'd be leaving sickbay.


	13. Chapter 13

_I'm intentionally holding this story hostage until Jekkah reviews. I know that normally it's really annoying when stories are held to ransom... but really it's just a standing joke._

* * *

_**March 4th, 2155 - Day Nine - Enterprise**_

Sickbay was as dim as the simulated night on the ship would allow it to be. He'd been off duty a little less than an hour, and he had come straight to his nightly perch, the stool beside Erika's bedside. Phlox had even cleared off the bed beside her once it became clear Jon had no intention of leaving sickbay at night while Erika was still fighting for her life.

It was the perfect time for him to run through the status and systems reports that had been filed throughout the ship at it's low speed back towards Earth. The two Starfleet ships and Shran's Kumari were regularly dropping out of warp to allow docking proceedures for various senior officers. Most nights Jonathan would be joined by Veronica Fletcher, at least for a while, as the Commander came off duty and wanted to speak to her captain. Other members of both Columbia and Enterprise's crews dropped by when they could, but the voice that came from behind him was fairly unexpected, though welcomed. "How is she?"

"Alive, miraculously." He muttered, stroking the hair from her forehead again, wanting just the moment of physical contact he needed to remind him that she was there, her heart was pumping and her brain was working.

Shran pulled a stool to the other side of the bed, and just looked between the two captains. "I went looking for you in your quarters. I didn't expect to find you here."

"I don't want to leave her when I don't have too. Not while she's still fighting." He admitted, and he saw Shran's smirk out of the corner of his eyes. That tiny fact was enough to finally tear his eyes from Erika's face to the Generals'.

His smirk faded to a more genuine and sympathetic smile, something that Jon hadn't seen on the Andorians' face before, despite all the hours the two of them had spent together over the last few years. "She's stronger than you pink-skins look. She'll be fine." He nodded in Erika's direction, making sure his point was made. Jon couldn't help but feel that maybe his friend was being a touch optimistic about Erika's prognosis, although the doctors were both confident she was through the worst, until she was awake and talking to him the worst case would always be the one on his mind.

"I'm trying to believe that."

Shran gave him a concentrated look, as if he was trying to understand that the suddenly maudlin mood had come from. "Did you keep your faith until we found her?"

"Honestly?" He had to reach inside himself, had he ever really thought that they would find Erika alive. He'd wanted too, he'd hoped, but that hadn't been the reality he'd been expecting to be faced with. He knew that Shran would accept nothing less than honesty, so it was beside the point to even attempt to lie. "No."

"Really?" Shran asked, leaning back against the support strut for Phlox's imaging chamber, continuing to watch Jon with an intensity that was unexpected.

"When we walked into that interrogation chamber and I saw what looked like a pile of blue rags on the floor, I assumed she'd already gone, and they'd taken her somewhere." The terror he'd felt in that moment, when he thought the room had been empty, until the pile of rags had moved and he'd realised that was her. He had felt like his happiness had been ripped away from him, but she had moved, and then he had but his fingers to her pulsepoint and there it had been. That beautiful heartbeat, and he had been every emotion at once, happy, sad, angry. All of them. "It wasn't until I got to her and I felt her heart beating. I was convinced I'd lost her. I was convinced that I'd be sitting next to her casket right now, trying to figure out the eulogy I'd give her. I think the last thing I expected was to be taking her home, and the doctors being sure she'd probably pull through." He delivered the last with a touch of excitement and happiness he hadn't expected, but he guessed that the news Phlox had given him when he'd walked into sickbay had lightened his load considerably.

"They said that?"

"It's just a case of her body being given time to heal itself. Humans are far more resilient than I think even we give ourselves credit for. Erika's always been living proof of that." He smiled, one again looking down to her, thinking about their combined history, all the years they'd spent together, as both friends and lovers. There was one thing that had always been part of Erika Hernandez, and that was her desire to prove people wrong."She overcame so much to even join Starfleet, even more to become a Captain. Including me. I probably took far too much of her credit when we were on the NX Programme."

Shran laughed an almost humourless laugh, and Jon wasn't surprised, the Erika he'd known all those years ago was nothing like the woman he knew now, yet he loved them both the same. "She never complained, she knew how important the programme was to me, she knew how much it mattered to me that it was completed, and I suppose to her," he trailed off, running his fingers through her hair once more, looking on her as if she were just sleeping, and would wake up and tell him she was fine any minute. He needed to hear her words now, but he knew it was still likely to be a day or so before she was allowed to speak. He remembered he'd asked her once, why she'd always let him take her credit, and she'd told him it was because she loved him. "To her, what I wanted was more important than what she wanted. She waited for me for 6 years, until I was ready to start a relationship with her, and she was the one who told me to go for Enterprise if it was what I wanted."

"Doesn't sound like her, from the stories I've been told." Shran commented, and Jon had to accept that Shran was right. It wasn't like her, not with anyone else. Only with him.

"She isn't like that with anyone else, and since the mission in the Expanse, she and I have learnt that maybe what she was doing was not the best for her. She came climbing with me, I was in a bad place, a terrible place really, but she forced me to face up to everything, and she reminded me that I wasn't in this alone. We've been-" He trailed off again, trying to put a word on everything that there was between him and the woman sleeping beside him. There weren't enough words for him, to accurately tell someone else all the confidence and joy she brought to him. "I don't know what we are, all I know is that I can't lose her. I don't know if I would have remained in command of Enterprise after the Expanse if it wasn't for her." He shook his head, and suddenly looked up to Shran, who had been surprisingly quiet through his thoughts. "I'm sorry, I haven't spoken about Erika to anyone before, I've never felt comfortable enough with anyone to speak about her."

"I'm honoured that you chose me, pinkskin. Keep me updated with her progress. She's a warrior, Jonathan. She will pull through." Shran's hand on his shoulder, combined with the General's use of his name served to remind him that everyone in the coalition were thinking about Erika and her recovery right now. He had heard that her rescue had made headlines back home. He fell back into his routine of staring at the read-outs above the bed, hoping that just one would change in a positive way, and he'd be able to tell her everything he needed to let out.


	14. Chapter 14

_**March 3rd, 2155 - Day Ten - Enterprise**_

He could hear her screams and shouts halfway down the corridor, and while he was glad to hear that she was awake, it was clear that she wasn't entirely with it. He strode into sickbay and ducked straight away as something was thrown at him. He saw Erika stood at the foot of her bed, grabbing whatever was in front of her to anyone moving. He whispered to Phlox as he ducked behind the table with him. "What happened?"

"We weaned her off the sedative but she's still got an altered mental status." Phlox answered, and it was clear that in Erika's mind she was still down on the planet with her captors. Jon just glared a second at his CMO as he thought of what he could do next. It wasn't going to be the usual way he approached this woman, he knew that, but he needed to do something, he jumped out and held his hands up, something caused Erika to hold her fire, and that was when he decided that maybe something about him had triggered a different memory in her. Maybe in her cabin before the Klingon mission, or the mountain after the expanse. He didn't know, but something affected her.

"Hey, Erika, Erika. Calm down." He took a few more tentative steps toward her, and notice the pain in her face as she moved, he kept talking, hoping that she would recognise him. "It's me. It's Jonathan." He said his own name, hoping to continue triggering her memories, instead he was surprised to see her duck down under the bed, wrapping her arms around the stand that connected the bed to the ground.

"No, he's not here. He's not" She wailed, but her childlike posture, with her eyes tightly shut allowed him to get close to her and kneel beside her. He held back from touching her for a moment, just stayed close before trying to get her to look at him.

"Rike, come on." He watched her shake her head again, and he felt hopeless, wondering if just his voice and presence would be enough to get her trust, he dropped his voice again, to a level that he was confident nobody else in the room had ever heard before, it wasn't a voice he used often. It was the voice he would use when he wanted to wake her up while they were camping, or just laid in bed together but had things to do, he hoped it would be yet another auditory trigger that it was really him. "Open your eyes and look at me. It's me."

He'd never been happier to see those dark brown orbs meet his. While there was so much damage to her physically, he could never forget nor mistake the woman to whom those eyes belonged. Regardless of anything, Erika was still in there, and it was clear from her eyes. As she studied him, he saw the faint lines of recognition on her face. "Jonathan?"

"It's me." He confirmed, and opened his arms as she launched herself into them. It was hard for him to stay on his knees the way she clung to him. He held her as tightly as he dared, terrified that he might make her injuries worse if he held her too tightly.

"Jon they keep hurting me, I need you to make them stop." She whispered in his ear, and he felt the tears streaming down her face onto the collar of his uniform. He kissed her cheek as he moved, wanting to see her eyes again, desperate to show her that she wasn't there any more, that she was on _Enterprise_. That they had rescued her and she was safe.

But right now wasn't the time to confront her with reality, instead he whispered meaningless reassurances to her. He saw Phlox and Johanna already discussing something, away from the safety of the table that they'd both been cowering behind only moments earlier. "I will, I will, come here. Let's get you back into bed." He continued cajoling her until her got her out from under the bed, still with her clinging to him.

"Jonathan don't let them get me please." She pleaded again, and her terror was clear in her voice, he couldn't even imagine what she was reliving in her mind, but he hoped that he could help take her away from that, that he could take her to a safe place where she wouldn't need to worry.

"I promise, it's just you and me now. Come with me." He would promise her this no matter where they were, every day for the rest of his life he would promise her this. He couldn't let her down now, and he would try to never let her down again.

He helped her back onto the bed and pulled the sheet up around her, determined to keep her warm, and he remembered how comforting blankets and sheets could be, he knew that maybe, just maybe, it was best the he make her as comfortable and protected as he could. "I'm so tired Jonathan, so tired."

He just smiled at her and kissed her cheek again, pulling his usual stool toward him so he could settle beside her again. He looked over to the doctors, both of whom were trying just a little too hard to not pay attention to them. He shook his head and looked back to Erika who's eyes were open and studying his face. He looked back to her, gently kissing the back of the hand he was holding before stroking her hair from her forehead. " Sleep, Erika, you need to sleep."

"Stay with me?" She almost begged, and he realised he couldn't deny her, even when she wasn't herself. He nodded and settled next to her, whispering in her ear until her breathing leveled out and it was obvious she was in a peaceful sleep. After another few minutes he headed over toward Phlox who was watching the sleeping captain with a combination of worry and fear, no doubt for her safety.

He looked back to her before he asked the question he hoped he could get a complete answer on now that Erika was calm and asleep again. "What happened?"

Johanna answered first, looking over her shoulder at the captain and his CMO. Her expression telling him that she hadn't agreed with Phlox's initial decision. "We needed to start taking her off the sedative, we didn't expect quite such a violent reaction. Phlox has seen similar reactions before and knew to call you."

Phlox shrugged a little as Johanna turned away with a sigh, the Denobulan didn't seem overly bothered by the elderly human doctors' opinion. "It could be because she woke up so suddenly, possibly if you're here when she next wakes up we can avoid a repeat." He motioned to the doors then to Erika, and Jon suddenly understood what Phlox was going to suggest. "I'd like to put you on leave until we get Captain Hernandez back to Earth where her family could take over her care if she is not better."

He walked slowly back over to her bed as he replied. "She'll be OK doc, I'm sure of that. I'll stay here. I don't want her hurting herself worse because she isn't woken up properly."

"Captain, I've only dealt with torture victims twice before, and I've never seen one react to a friend that quickly. Is there something I should know?" Phlox's voice dropped to a confidential level, and it was clear that he understood that both captains deserved a level of privacy. Jon looked to him and nodded. Wondering if they could even consider this a secret any more considering how many people he had told or had figured their relationship out over the course of this mission.

"We were involved Phlox, are involved. I'm not sure which to use. For as long as we've known each other, but for the last year we've been reconnecting, despite only physically seeing each other twice. I've been trying to make up for years ago. I know she's strong enough to get through this."

"I'll keep an eye on you both, you can feel free to take the bed next to hers."

"I doubt I'll sleep unless I'm next to her. I'm worried about her." He smiled as Phlox walked away, settling himself beside Erika's bed, ready to deal with her through the night if he needed.


	15. Chapter 15

_**March 4th, 2155 - Day Eleven - Enterprise**_

The morning had not gone to plan, but at least Erika hadn't woken up in either one of her two moods, the last 36 hours, since her sedation had worn off, she had woken either confused and terrified, or in a rage. The former he would wrap her in his arms until she was asleep again, the latter he had to talk her down before she'd fall back to sleep. He had gotten used to doing both, but this time her sleep seemed more even and natural, and he'd been able to read the systems reports he'd been neglecting for more than a day. He was midway through the power usage report when he felt eyes on him, he looked around the room and noticed both Phlox and Crewman Cutler busy with whatever they were working on. He looked down to the bed beside him and saw Erika looking up at him, studying him in a way he hadn't seen in such a long time. He felt his face split into a smile, knowing beyond doubt that this time there would be no terror or rage, they psychosis had clearly broken, and the eyes looking at him now were his best friends, the eyes of the woman he had fallen in love with a decade and a half earlier. He stroked the side of her face as he saw a relieved smile spread on it.

"Hey there." He whispered a minute later, not wanting to draw too much attention to the fact she was awake already. He wanted a moment alone with her, maybe it was selfish of him, but he wanted to prove to himself that she was alright, that she was whole and healthy, and that he didn't need to worry any longer.

"Hey." Her voice was raspy, but it was still more hers than what he'd heard the last few days. All he could think right now was how much he'd missed those eyes, and that voice, and everything that was her. After another few seconds her face clouded again and he saw she was trying to remember what had happened, and it was clear that she was more than a little confused as to how she had appeared on Enterprise. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" He asked, and he watched her grimace as she shook her head. He wondered if the pain management Phlox had had her on would be enough now that she was awake again. It had been lowered to try and help facilitate her recovery, but he wondered if just maybe it had been too much.

Her face contorted into what he had always jokingly called her thinking expression, it was what he expected now whenever he said something that made her think, he hoped that the gap in her memory wouldn't cause her too much worry, he couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, her brain was trying to protect her. "No, I don't."

He stroked the side of her face again and smiled as she settled, it had always been a way to calm her, and to soothe her. Something he had learnt early in their relationship, and he was glad to see it still worked. He didn't want to give her too much information all at once, but he also needed to learn what she did remember, even if that was going to be hard for them both to hear. "There'll be time to explain later, what is your last memory?"

"The camp, the Orions." She started to struggle her way to sitting, as if to check again that this was real, he gently put his hands on her shoulders and settled her back on the bed, glad that she didn't try fighting him any further. All he could do was try to soothe her again. It wasn't something he'd had much experience of doing, and he could safely say he hoped he wouldn't have to do it again.

"It's OK. They're in custody, and we found you."

"When?"

"4 days ago." He watched as her face fell, and he took a minute to let it settle on her, he wasn't entirely sure how to make any of this easier for her aside from sitting there and letting her process what he was telling her on her time.

"How long did they keep me?"

He sighed and took hold of her hand, sliding back onto his stool as he did. He wasn't sure he could tell her how long without his own knees giving in, he felt weak whenever he thought about how long she had been held, and what had been done to her in that time. "A week."

Before she had time to really process that news Phlox was stood on her other side, and Jon wondered just how long he'd actually been there, the two captains had been so engrossed in their own conversation they hadn't noticed the doctor's approach. "I see you're awake." He said in the direction of Erika, who's face split into a tired smile.

"Hello Phlox, how am I doing?"

"Better now you're conscious. We had a few-" Jonathan shook his head, and Phlox stopped midsentence, eliciting a suspicious look from the woman on the biobed, she narrowed her eyes at Jonathan for a minute, then looked back to Phlox.

"Let me guess, you'll explain later." She muttered, earning her a smile from the doctor before he walked away, leaving the two alone in their part of sickbay again, he looked down and was ready to tell her, just lay everything out, but apparently she wasn't going to give him the chance. "Jon, how badly hurt was I?" Her question caught him off guard, and he looked to the floor as he composed himself enough to answer her question honestly, as she'd want it to be answered.

"We almost lost you, a few times, and you were in a psychosis, a pretty deep one too. I've been sat here with you for the last 36 hours, trying to keep you calm."

"Did I?" It was clear what she was asking. She wanted to know if after everything she had been put through she had told them what they wanted. That was the one thing he had managed to get out of the Orions, they had been left frustrated by Erika's stubbornness, and they had gotten nothing out of her except for her recipe for chicken fajitas.

He broke into a smile, glad he could at least put her mind at ease on that. "No, you didn't tell them anything. You should try and sleep." He whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead, feeling the need to just show her something, and to remind himself that this was real, she was awake and alive and there with him.

"Jonathan." Erika whispered a few minutes later, after he had settled back beside her and pulled his padd back, reading through his reports. He turned to her and was still startled by the intensity with which she looked at him sometimes, he studied her in turn for a minute before she finished her thought. "Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, I was just doing what you did for me."

"Explain?"

He looked around, and saw that everyone was as far from their current position as they could be, he wasn't sure he wanted everyone to know exactly how bad a position he'd been in after the Expanse, but he knew that he needed to tell her. "Last year, after the Xindi, you chased me and you rescued me from torturing myself, and you showed me that I could still love someone more than I hated myself. I couldn't not be here to save you, could I?" He smiled at her as she took in what he was saying. He noticed her trying to stifle a yawn, the first sign that maybe she needed to go back to sleep. "Do you want me to let you sleep?"

She squeezed his hand and smiled tiredly, already closing her eyes and settling before she spoke. "No, I think I'd sleep better with you here anyway, please stay?"

He sat himself down again, and smiled, looking over her as he went back to his reports, her hand clasped in his. This was the clearest indication of her recovery that he'd had so far, and he couldn't be happier about it.


	16. Chapter 16

_**March 6th, 2155 - Day Thirteen - Enterprise**_

He helped her into a sitting position, the pain was still fairly sharp, but she could ignore it, especially for this. She had asked that morning to know what had happened to her, and now she might get the answers, even if she knew that Jon was against this. It wasn't his body though, and she needed to know for her own peace of mind. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" He said, and she fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"I need to know Jonathan." She replied, and this time it was obvious he had given up arguing with her.

"Alright." He conceeded, but rather than let him walk away as it was clear he'd been intending too, she grabbed his hand, pulling him back to stand beside her. She looked up at him and after a moment he seemed to understand she still needed his support, he threaded his fingers through hers, and immediately she felt stronger, and more ready to hear what Phlox came over to tell her, handing her a padd full of images and scans.

"You experienced significant injuries captain. These are the scans taken when you first arrived in Enterprise's sickbay. The worst injuries we had to deal with were the extensive internal electric burns, we'd not dealt with them in many years, we had to look up ancient treatments." The burns looked terrible, and it was probably no wonder she still felt awful, but she was sure they couldn't be all. Not for her to still be in his sickbay almost a week after her rescue.

"Were they my worst injuries?"

"No, they were the most pressing at that point, they were also the oldest, I'd guess they were sustained within 24 hours of your abduction." She looked over the scans, and a memory surfaced in her mind, the table and the light. All she'd registered at that point was the pain, not what the actual method had been. "Then we had to deal with your broken bones, almost every bone in your body was broken. You had two skull fractures, though luckily for you they weren't serious, all your ribs were broken." Phlox sighed and the anger in his voice was clearly hard for him to disguise. She could see Jonathan's clenched jaw out of the corner of her eye, and she could feel the slight tremor in his hand as they sat together. As she continued scrolling through the scans, he spoke again. "They were skilled at what they did though, there was no damage to most of your internal organs. We had to remove part of your liver, but that will grow back. All of this is without going into your psychological issues upon returning." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, after a moment Jonathan squeezed her hand and dropped his voice, clearly meant for only her, and Phlox did his usual job of pretending not to notice.

"Flashbacks are expected, Rike."

She smiled at him just a little, trying to show him that she had just needed the moment to focus herself, then she turned back to Phlox, wanting the last part of the story. "Jon mentioned you almost lost me, a few times."

"We did, but you were stronger than we anticipated, Captain. I'm willing to release you to guest quarters aboard Enterprise for at least the next week, but I'm giving you a treatment that Doctor Metzger isn't qualified to administer. Once that is completed you'll be free to go back to Columbia."

"Thank you doctor." She smiled, and he took the hint and left, leaving her alone with Jonathan and her thoughts. She wasn't entirely sure what she wanted, and while she'd known she needed to hear the details of her incarceration she wasn't sure she actually wanted to know what they did, but she was still compelled to ask. "Jon, what did they actually do?"

He looked almost as uncomfortable as she felt, and she could see the anger at her treatment still simmering below his calm demeanour. "Like Phlox said, we know that electricity was used, at least in the beginning, you were beaten, with both fists and blunt objects. He found evidence of whips and other-" He stopped, and she could see how much he was struggling to give her this information, maybe she didn't really want to know. Maybe she just needed to be happy that she was alive. It became clear after a few seconds that he wasn't going to be able to finish his sentence, and she just reached out and took his hand. Glad of that physical comfort. "At least you're safe now." He stated a few minutes later, and she just looked at him, nodding.

"Jonathan, if Phlox will release me, maybe you could take me to some quarters. I just want to think for a while, somewhere quiet."

"Sure." After checking with the physician he took her through the corridors towards the guest quarters, and she knew they were not only the closest to Sickbay, they were also the closest to his quarters, and while right now she was overcome with the desire to be alone, to think, having him so nearby was a reassurance, something that she was glad she had. He let her in and stood near the door. "I had Veronica bring some of your off-duty clothes over, in preparation of Phlox letting you out. I think she brought some nightclothes and other things for you."

"Thanks, Jonathan." She smiled, sincerely, and picked up one of the nightshirts she wore most often, it was one of her favourites, and she was sure he'd recognise it, it had once been his. His eyes scanned the shirt then up to her face, and she felt his eyes land on the only slightly healed bruises that made up most of the left hand side of her face right now. He reached out and gently stroked her shoulder before turning back to the door.

"I'm going to try and get some sleep, you know where I am if you need me." He pulled the door shut behind him and suddenly she was alone again, it wasn't something she was entirely sure she was ready for, really, despite the fact she'd been craving it. She changed into the shirt and climbed onto the bunk, wrapping the sheet that was on it around herself.

As her eyes closed the room down at the Orions' base flicked into her view again, and she could see everything. Every last thing they had done to her, every last thing they had wanted from her. She heard the angry yet aroused voice of Skra'al when he would come to collect her in the morning. The excited yips of some of her torturers that she'd hear when she'd cried out in pain.

Opening her eyes didn't stop the pain, nor did it stop the voices she could still hear. She propelled herself up, pacing in front of the window, and she was glad to take a few steps over, steadying herself against the bulkhead and the chair. On the other side of the bulkhead, travelling beside her sister was her ship. Columbia. Looking undamaged and majestic. She felt the pride and gratitude to her crew for their determination to find her, they had been determined that their captain would come home. Without them, she likely wouldn't be alive, nor on Enterprise.

She tried lying down again, but more memories floated to her mind, this time about her final regrets. The last things that had been going through her mind before Jonathan had rescued her. She had thought about how she had never told him she loved him. She'd never met her youngest niece. She'd had a million regrets, things she would need to change now that she had the option.

Sleep wasn't coming, and nor was comfort. Being alone wasn't giving her the clarity she had hoped for, and she could only think of one remedy, she staggered out of the door, using the bulkheads to guide her down the corridor, and she took a few steps unaided before she hit the buzzer to his door, and hoped that he would still be awake. She still needed him.


	17. Chapter 17

_**March 6th, 2155 - Day Thirteen - Enterprise**_

The door opened, and the last face he'd expected to see there was staring back at him, he wasn't sure what to do. He had taken a step back when she'd told him she wanted to try and do a few things on her own, and he'd agreed with her, he'd been her constant companion for days, and after her issues understanding exactly what had happened to her, he had understood her need to be alone. She stood there a second longer before speaking. "Can I come in?"

"Of course!" He cursed himself for his inadvertent rudeness, and stepped back as she started talking still on his doorstep.

"I'm sorry to just drop in like this, I know I was assigned guest quarters I just-" he stopped her with a finger to her lips, pulling her into his room, he was shocked when she threw her arms around him, and he held her as tightly as he could, not entirely certain what exactly had prompted that reaction from the usually stately captain, he worried for a moment that maybe she was struggling again and that had prompted her need to see him.

"Erika?" He asked when she loosened her grip, he helped her sit on the edge of the bed, taken the chair directly in front of her. He tried not to stare at the healing-but-still-obvious bruises and marks on her cheek, despite seeing her in sickbay, now she was in normal lighting it was even harder to ignore the effects of what had been done. He studied her as she clearly struggled to find her words, both intrigued and terrified as to what she would tell him. He had purposefully tried not to think about what those monsters had done to her, because whenever he did, it made it exceptionally hard for him to not go down to the brig where they were being held and teach them a lesson.

Erika took a deep breath, and he saw the pain and fear in her eyes. "I don't think I can be alone, not right now, and you've been there with me, every day. I knew you were there, in sickbay, I could feel you right beside me and it made me feel safe. It made me feel protected." Her admission wasn't something he expected, he had hoped that, somehow, he was helping her in a good way, being a positive force, but he'd never really been certain, and if she wanted to be near him tonight he could figure something out that wouldn't intrude on her privacy too. He wasn't sure where they stood, and he certainly didn't want to push her.

"You don't have to go anywhere. If you want to sleep in here I can catch up on my work or-"

"Jonathan. Can we just talk for a second?" The sound of her voice convinced him to stop and look at her again. He worried that she was going to tell him something else he wouldn't really want to hear.

"What's up?"

"I need to thank you, for coming to get me. For saving me. When I was there, that last day, I'd already given myself up for dead. I was ready to die proud, knowing that I hadn't given away any of Starfleet's secrets, that I hadn't betrayed them. Or you." She shifted on the edge of the bed and he couldn't help but feel drawn to her words, despite how terrifying they were, and how he wished he wasn't having to listen to them. After a moment she had gathered herself again and took another deep breath. "Whenever I'm in trouble, whenever Columbia needs help, you're always there, you always come for me. I don't know how you do it, how you even know I need you, sometimes. You still always come, and I wanted to thank you for that." He couldn't help but reach out for her hands, he needed to do something, anything, to show her that he would always be there. Just telling her never seemed to be enough.

"I'll always come to you, Erika, every time, because I want to be near you every day. I don't know if I was fooling myself before, if I was trying to pretend that what I felt wasn't real, that it was just because of the stress of everything here."

"But?"

"My feelings about you have been the same since I first met you. I've been in love with you for 15 years and nothing has changed that in all the time I've known you. So yes, I always know when you're in trouble, or when you just need to talk to me, because I feel it too."

"I never knew you still felt that way?"

"Every day you were gone I thought about you, I begged the universe to bring you back to me, every day, because I didn't know how I'd go about my life without you." the minutes of silence began stretching, and he worried about what was going on in her mind. "Say something." He begged after seconds of silence, terrified that she was going to withdraw again and break him all over again.

"You know, after the first day I figured out how I'd cope with what was happening, and I regressed into myself. I focused on things that mattered to me, things that made me happy. Your face was the first thing I thought about. When I was being shocked and beaten and just-" Her face clouded, and he squeezed the hands he was still holding, feeling her fingers trembling beneath his. She took a breath and continued, "it was you. Yours was the voice telling me to hold on, that you'd be there soon." He just looked at her, and when she leaned forward and brought her lips within a centimetre of his, he found himself resisting the urge to just pull her in. Especially when he felt her take a breath. "I love you too, Jonathan." She muttered, he breath warm on his lips.

She finally closed the last miniscule distance between them, he felt his heart pounding as her hand settled over it, and all he could do was smile as she moved slightly away. His greatest desire suddenly, magically realised. He pulled her against him, being mindful of the still obvious physical injuries she had, he laid them both down on the bed and held her tightly to him. Hoping that the embrace alleviated her fears. He felt his reward only minutes later together as her body slackened and her breathing evened, indicating she'd finally given in to sleep. Even if he didn't sleep all night, he'd happily stay in this position, because knowing she was asleep was more than enough for him to feel like he had done what was needed of him, and knowing that they felt the same was the icing on the cake. They loved one another, and they could make it through anything with that knowledge.


	18. Chapter 18

_**March 7th, 2155 - Day Fourteen - Enterprise**_

He hadn't been asleep long, and what sleep he had got hadn't been particularly deep. He'd found it almost impossible to fall asleep while thinking about and worrying about the woman by his side. He had no idea how she was coping, not really. She told him she was fine, she was honest about the fact that she could now remember everything, and that scared him more than anything else. The weight of what had happened weighing on her. He had been on the opposite side of this once, he'd been the torturer, and that made him feel even guiltier about what had happened to Erika.

He had been held and attacked for information before, but never the way she had, not once had he feared for his life in any of the times he'd been held, he's never thought that death was hovering just around the corner, waiting for his strength to give up so he either died from his injuries or died from his captors lack of patience. That was something he wasn't entirely sure he could even begin to empathise with. Whenever he'd faced death it had always been on his own terms.

His eyes traced the side of Erika's face again, and he tried to see past the scrapes and the bruises, seeing to the woman she was beneath the injuries. The women who's strength far surpassed his own, not that she'd ever admit to that, and who reminded him of his own humanity whenever he worried about his issues. He had tried to tell her once, after the Xindi mission just before they had rekindled their relationship, that deep space wasn't as romantic as she thought it was. This incident would have no doubt proven that to her.

Suddenly she started shaking, and he knew she was trapped in some kind of nightmare, he remembered a few things he'd learnt many years earlier about waking Erika up, you never did it without the expectation of getting hit, but this time he was fairly sure that she would appreciate his interference. He gently shook her, getting progressively stronger the longer it took to wake her, suddenly she bolted upright, the terror in her voice managing to chill him to his core.

"No!" she screamed, then shook again. He held her arms as her eyes snapped open, and she was clearly in that dark murky place between asleep and awake where you aren't sure exactly what the truth was.

"Rike, come on, wake up." He prodded gently, and finally her eyes landed on him and he could see her snapping out of the nightmare that had held her, she was still shaking as she did, and he could see her replaying the last few days in her mind, trying to figure out exactly what had happened, and where she was, and whether or not she could trust her mind.

"Jonathan." She whispered a few beats later, her hand going to his cheek, as if she was checking that he was really there. It was obvious that she needed that reassurance, he put his hand on top of hers against his face.

"You're safe." He confirmed, and he saw the relief suddenly spike on her face. It was a sight he would always wish he didn't have to see, she didn't deserve this, and he suddenly found himself wishing that he could take all the pain away from her.

"Oh god I'm on _Enterprise_." She threw her arms around him, and he held her as tightly as he dared, feeling like a protector, maybe that was the role he should take now, and while he was certain she would never hold him responsible for what had happened to her, he couldn't help but feeling as if it was partially his bad karma that had done this, punishing him for the actions he had taken over a year earlier in the Exapanse. While he held her he felt her shivers, more out of fear than any real worry, he was certain, her whispered words continued to chill him and terrify him, and make him wonder how she was still as strong as she was. "For a minute I was back there, with them."

He tried to reassure her, rubbing her back in soothing circles, just trying to remind her that she was safe with him, and that they had saved her from the living hell she had been in for the last two weeks. He would always be there, even if it was only over the comm, and he would need to keep pressing that point home to her. "It was a nightmare, a bad dream."

"I feel like the last two weeks have been a bad dream." She sighed a minute later, pulling back a little and getting out of bed. "Or some sort of simulation to prove that I was the right choice to take on _Columbia_. Everyone knows that AG was the popular choice, and when he died it threw a spanner in Starfleet's plan." He watched her as she gingerly paced at the end of his bed, after a minute or so she slid down onto the end of the bed again, and he moved over to sit behind her, pulling her back against him and speaking directly into her ear.

"I wish they had, that would be easier to repair."

"Jon, how do you deal with everything?" He looked to her, wondering for a minute what she was talking about, he had plenty of demons, and nothing really helped with any of them, but he was certain he knew what she was asking about, before she clarified. "All the things that happened with the Xindi and the Vulcans and everything else that's happened to you over the last 4 years?"

"A combination of talking things over with my close friends, telling myself that everything I did was for the good of Earth, and a good proportion of pretending it never happened." He sighed, wondering if she'd think any worse of him for it, her head was still nestled in the crook of his neck and shoulder until she turned a little and kissed his cheek.

"I don't know if I have many friends I can talk to about this." She admitted almost bitterly a few seconds later, settling back into the same position on his chest.

"You can talk to me, any time, any place." He confirmed in her ear. Holding her tighter, and he knew that that was a promise he would keep until his dying breath, he would never make her face this alone, because being alone was the worst thing for someone in her position, and he couldn't let her fall.


	19. Chapter 19

**Second to last chapter here! Hope you've enjoyed this.**

* * *

_**April 15th, 2155 - One month later - Columbia**_

Their nightly call had started as usual, despite the fact she was in her own bunk and had been almost asleep when his call had come through, it hadn't mattered, she'd bounded out of bed, feeling healthier and stronger than she had in weeks. His face always energised her in a way she couldn't explain, and by the light that filled his face, he was happy to see her too. "Nothing going on for you yet?" He asked, as he did every day, even though her progress didn't go as quickly as she was sure he'd like, it wasn't as quick as she'd like either.

She sighed and shook her head, frustrated with the fact that more than a month since Enterprise and Columbia had returned her to Earth she was still having to prove that she was psychologically sound. "They are still putting me through psychometric testing and things, so far I have passed everything they've thrown at me but I can see why they are being cautious." At the beginning, they had laughed at the fact she'd been the first Starfleet captain to be treated for the affects of torture, but now that particular place in the history books was showing itself to be a big burden.

"They just want to know you're OK to retake command Rike." Jonathan muttered, and his sympathetic gaze made her agree, despite the fact she knew it already, it was always nice to be reminded.

"I know, it just feels like I'm being judged, you know?" She felt the frown spread on her face, but quickly covered it, she would be placed back in command as soon as Starfleet knew she was alright, and her ship was in good hands. "Veronica is still in temporary command, but at least they let me back to Columbia rather than making me stay on Earth." She smiled and looked round her cabin, the photographs of her family and Jonathan making her feel more at home, not that she didn't feel at home in her apartment in San Francisco, she spent more time on Columbia, and she missed her ship.

Jonathan's smirk was one of the most endearing things she'd seen, and she knew he was going to say something to wind her up, he enjoyed doing that far too much. "I think I'd have been happier with you on Earth."

"You're not the boss of me." She said in a singsong voice, then stuck her tongue out at him. If they were together, she knew how he'd combat that kind of response, and generally it would lead to an end of conversation for the night, he looked as if he was thinking about that very outcome as well, and she grinned while shaking his head.

"I know, imagine if I tried to be?"

"Eurgh!" She laughed and spotted the warp trails outside his viewport, suddenly wishing for a moment that Columbia was out amongst the stars. Not that any of her crew was upset at the extended leave they were getting because of their Captain's recovery. "Where is Enterprise headed next?"

His gaze followed hers to his viewport, then he looked back with a slight grimace. "We're doing a quick inspection at Deneva, then I think we're being brought back to Earth, leisurely I hope." The inspection tour just enough to remind them both that there was still a war on the horizon, and Starfleet and Earth's government wanted everywhere to be prepared.

"Still wanting to go exploring that planet?" She asked, remembering what he'd been talking about a few days earlier, that entire call had been about a planet Enterprise had discovered, and Jon had been quite annoyed that Starfleet had told him that he didn't have time to explore it.

"You remember that?" He asked, looking at her a little like she'd grown two heads, and all she could do was laugh and wonder if he remembered exactly how much he had spoken about it.

"You spent two hours talking about it the other night, something about great climbing?"

"The mountains were beautiful, Rike, we should add it to our vacation list." His grin turned a little mischievous again, and she knew what he was planning, a repeat of their earlier climbing experience, no doubt.

"Because we're ever going to get vacations, we're captains now Jonathan."

As his face fell a little she felt guilty for reminding him of that, but he shook it off quickly, and his attention shifted back to her, the exact topic she most wanted to avoid. "Other than the testing, how are things going?"

"Fine" His face told her he didn't believe her, she shrugged and decided that maybe it would be best of she expanded on what she meant by fine, that she really just meant that nothing had gotten any worse. "Seriously. I still have a few flashbacks but they aren't as regular any more. All of my injuries are healed up, and the scarring from the internal burns is less than they expected." She smiled, and he returned it, the remaining worry lines on his forehead fading ever so slightly.

"Good. I was thinking about you last night." He started in a conversational tone, and she sensed a moment where she could tease him again.

"Oh really?" She asked, lifting her eyebrows, causing him to snort, and that noise was still one of her favourite things to hear. It had always been difficult to make him snort like that, as you had to take him by surprise, and he anticipated everything. As his chuckling trailed off she shot him a teasing smile, even as he sat shaking his head toward the screen.

"Not like that, perv, remember that time I managed to lock everyone out of your apartment?" She did remember, it had been her 30th birthday, and he broke the key while it was in the lock. She'd had to climb up the railings to get in and open the door, and she'd had to get the building supervisor to come and help her get into her apartment for three weeks after that, until she had the money to get it all repaired.

"How could I forget?"

"Why did you let me off again?" He asked, and she thought back, unable to remember the exact reason, but considering it had been right when they had first been making moves towards starting a relationship she had a good idea why.

"You were cute."

"'Were'?" He asked with a tone of mock offence, and all she could do was laugh again, holding her hands up in a gesture of surrender, she hoped he took it, and their giggling began anew. She looked to the chrono on her desk, and wondered where the time had gone.

"I'm saying nothing. Don't you have a ship to run?"

"I can take another few minutes to talk to you."

"Go run your ship, call me tomorrow."

"Only because you're making me. I love you." She grinned, at the sappy look on his face, despite the fact they hadn't clarified where they were and what they were to one another, he still ended the call every night with the same three words, and she always knew they were the truth. Maybe they didn't need the serious conversation

"I know, I love you too. See you soon." He motioned to turn off the call but she remembered something she wanted to say before he did. "Wait, Jon!"

"Yeah?" He looked concerned at her sudden shout, and she felt ever so slightly ridiculous, yelling him back just to remind him of something he already knew, but she was committed now.

"When you're on Earth- we need to have that talk about us."

"I know, but I'm trying to convince myself that you're not going to tell me to leave you for my career again, so lets wait til I'm on Earth to bring that up again." It showed clearly on his face that that really was the biggest worry he had. She found herself wanting to reach out to him, and cursed the light years that were currently separating them. Even as she knew that that was the last thing he should worry about, she'd come to depend on him in a way she hadn't experienced before.

"You don't need to worry about that Jon, I just want to tell you some things, and it would be better if I said them face to face. Speak tomorrow?" She smiled and while she knew he was thinking about what she'd said, he did seem to understand that she wasn't going to call a halt to what had been growing between them since she had been rescued. All that had come from the Orions taking her was that she'd realised she loved Jonathan, and probably always would. As the screen went dark she found herself missing his face already, and wishing they'd had a few more minutes to talk after all.


	20. Chapter 20

**So, this is the final chapter of this story! I hope you've enjoyed it. I'm going to start posting my next story on Monday, another Jon/Erika-centric one that tells the story of their early years and the NX-programme. That'll be called "The First Missions". Hope to see you back for it. Shin xx**

* * *

_**August - Four Months Later**_

She tried to stay as composed as she could waiting on him opening the door. He wasn't expecting her, mostly because he hadn't expected to be on Earth until the following morning, and she had decided to visit him, rather than wait for their dinner date planned for the next evening. She was anxious to see him, despite the fact she was sure this was going to be an awkward meeting, as the last time they had seen each other in person she had still been quite fragile, both physically and emotionally. His face when he opened the door was a picture, and she suddenly wished she'd brought a camera.

"Erika. How did you know I was...?"

"Admiral Gardner mentioned Enterprise was home early. I called the ship but T'Pol said you had an early meeting at command so you were staying on Earth." She held up the bottle of wine she carried, then shrugged just a little.

"Come in." He looked her over, and all she could do was smile, she felt like he was seeing every injury that had healed over the last few months, even though she knew that was unfair, especially after they'd spoken at least once a week since the incident. She knew the expression on his face, and all she could read in it was relief. After a minute or so he shrugged, and she wondered had things between them always been so awkward. "You look great." He said, and she saw his internal grimace, even as he reached out for her hand, she took it and allowed him to pull her into a tight embrace. Every worry she'd had since returning to Earth were swept away when he laid a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Thanks. I was wondering if I could tempt you out for dinner? For that talk we promised each other?" She wondered if maybe she was moving her agenda a little faster than she'd intended, but she couldn't stop, there was something compelling her to be upfront about it. At the grin that spread across his face it seemed he was actually glad she'd mentioned it. He leaned back a little, but didn't open up their embrace at all, and she felt comfortable leant against him.

"Forget going out, I'll cook something."

"Are you sure?" She suddenly felt a little uncomfortable, but not with him, more in herself and what she wanted out of tonight. She needed to know where they stood, and talking about it was all she could think of to let him know that. After another quick squeeze he let go, and she felt all of the awkward tension of the last few minutes slide away.

He pulled her to the sofa beside him, his arm staying wrapped around her as he gave her a stern look. "So seriously, how are you?"

She sighed and clasped her hands in front of her, knowing better than to lie to him. He'd see straight through her, and she would end up answering even more questions. "Recovering, slowly. Columbia has been drydocked with Veronica in temporary command. Starfleet passed me fit to resume command almost two and a half weeks ago, but Columbia's been getting a full refit since we were neglected the last couple of times we were returned. I'm due to start my first mission again on Friday." She smiled, and she honestly was excited to get back out into space with Columbia, especially after the three months of physical and psychiatric counselling she had been required to undergo as per Starfleet orders.

"Staying on the ship this time?" Jon asked, and she could tell it was only half jokingly. She couldn't imagine how worried he'd been, and despite everything, she still thought he and Veronica had had it far worse than she had. They had been the ones searching. They had been the ones worrying, not knowing if she was alive. She didn't blame Jon for worrying, because she worried about him too.

"Shipping lane patrol, so yes. Something simple and easy for my crew."

The two of them shared a knowing look, and she couldn't help but smirk at the look on his face. He took a breath before pointing out something they both knew, "and deadly boring for her captain?"

She sat back in the cushions, and he turned to look at her, she felt herself sliding down, and she was certain that she looked the opposite of a professional Starfleet captain right that minute. "Maybe it's time for some boredom for me Jonathan, I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to move on from this." She looked away, not sure she could see the look on his face. "I still have nightmares. Some nights I dream that I'm still there, in that chamber being asked about you and Starfleet and in my dreams I break and everything that matters in my life is gone, completely destroyed by my actions."

"Erika-" He tried to stop her, but she was already on a roll, and she was far more ready to speak to him about this than to a psychiatrist or someone she didn't know as well. She didn't trust them, that was the long and short of it. There was only one person in the galaxy she could honestly trust that wouldn't judge, and that was the only other person in the room.

"No, Jon. I wake up in my bunk on my ship and I'm terrified, I know that this is normal, and eventually I will get through it, but I doubt it'll be any time soon. I sit and wonder if maybe, just maybe, that might have really happened. Every time I have one of those dreams."

He sat forward suddenly and pulled her into his arms again, wrapping himself around her and whispering the 5 words she needed to hear more than anything in her ear. "I knew you wouldn't break." He repeated the statement again before letting her go, moving back just far enough that she could see his eyes, and she knew that he was telling her the truth. He had genuinely thought she wouldn't break, she wouldn't give anything away. "I told Veronica, hell I told Command. I knew you wouldn't break. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, Rike. You would never betray your oath to Starfleet and you'd also never ever betray my trust. I knew that, because I know you. Better than you know yourself sometimes. I have seen you through everything, almost the entirety of your career, and I love you no matter what I've seen."

"Jon-?" She asked, and she realised her confession had opened up the gates to his own.

"I can't deny it, Erika. Hearing you were missing, hearing the rest of both our crews talking about the fact you likely wouldn't make it. Shran telling me that you surviving for 5 days was unlikely, and surviving 7 days as being all but impossible." He took a deep breath, and she saw the tears forming in the corners of his eyes, she reached out and stroked his cheek, unable not to make some form of physical contact with him while he continued speaking. "Through it all I knew I'd find you, because I knew you were alive. The part of me that lives in you was still there, and I knew. It's corny and sappy and horribly romantic but that doesn't stop it being true. You told me that nothing had ever changed for you. That you'd loved me since you were 24, that you saw me when the Orions had you and I was the one who kept you strong. I don't honestly know what I would do without you and I can't continue lying to myself and to you by pretending I don't have these feelings." He stopped, and she saw an undercurrent of fear play across his face. She thought for a moment about everything, about her feelings, about everything she had wished she could have told him, about all the regrets she had had in the cell, and while the Orions had held her. How much she had regretted that she never got the chance to tell him that she still loved him, and that what they had wasn't just a fling for her, that it actually mattered.

She finally met his eyes again, needing to tell him the truth about everything, before _Columbia_, before _Enterprise_ and even before the first time they were together. "I was telling you the truth. Nothing has changed for me since the day we met. Even when I was in the background for Natalie and Rebecca and Miranda and all those other girls. You've been the only person in my life I've imagined being with since I was 24, and you're still the only one, aside from _Columbia_. I love you, and I have for longer than I'd like to admit. You saved me, Jonathan, you really did, and that was what I needed." She waited for his reaction before she allowed herself to smile, but on seeing his face split into a grin she knew that they'd made the right decision.

"I wish it hadn't taken almost losing you for me to man up and tell you. Especially after you saved me last year."

"I didn't save you, you saved yourself. I just prompted you." She argued, he hadn't needed saving, he'd just needed reminding who he was, and she'd been more than happy to do that.

"No, Erika. You saved me. I would never have been strong enough to come down off that mountain had you not reminded me that once I'd been selfless and naive and I had wanted the best for everyone."

"Is that what _that_ was?" She laughed as he slid back to her level and wrapped an arm around her. The memory of what they had done 15 months ago playing in her mind again, something that she thought about when she needed to be cheered up.

"No, _that_ was you proving to me that I deserved to be loved, and that someone still could love me after everything that I've done. You also showed me that I could still love someone. Then there was what happened before Phlox was kidnapped..."

"You mean where you came to Columbia and we christened her our way?"

"I still need to apologise to your ship." He laughed and leaned against her cheek, his hot breath tickling her throat as he continued chuckling. He started kissing her neck before asking the question that had been her cover for being there to begin with. "What do you want to eat?"

"I'm not really hungry." She admitted, snuggling into his arms a little deeper, her skin burning where he touched her, and she watched a mischievous grin appear.

"Me either." His grin was infectious, and she felt it crawling up her cheeks as he leant further forward and kissed her as hard as he could. She returned with equal force, finally knowing that there was a future for them. They had seen each other at both their best and worse, and they accepted that. They could grow together, and that was all she had needed to know. It was everything.


End file.
